How to lose a roommate in 10 days

Well I've survived almost the whole school year. This means I've survived always cleaning the bathroom, dealing with the 3rd roommate, constant questioning, listening to make-out sessions less than 10 feet away from me, 3:30 AM showers, alarm clocks, opposite schedules, black, hypocrisy and much more. Only 28 days till I move out for the summer but who's counting? Next year I'll be getting an apartment which includes my very own room! whoo whoo!

I found an article online last night and was seriously laughing out loud because of it. It's hilarious! I enjoyed it immensely and even just thinking about these things made me feel much better!

If you have a roommate you need to get rid of, but aren’t sure how, here are some solid suggestions. If you follow these tips you will lose your roommate within 10 days. So take a deep breath and relax- you can ditch them in just over a week. Starting today. have fun losing a roommate in 10 days.

Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate’s head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

Every time your roommate walks in yell, “Hooray! You’re back!” as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, “Shouldn’t you be going somewhere?”

Trash the room when your roommate’s not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised. Say, “Uh-oh, it looks like, THEY, were here again.”

Eat lots of “Lucky Charms.” Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but you can’t say anything more, or you’ll have to face the consequences.

“Drink” a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.

Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, it’s spreading.”

Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.

Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.

Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you’re doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, “Soon, soon….”

Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then give away the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, “Oh, he’s around here somewhere.”

While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

Cover your bed with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your roommate asks, explain that “It’s a jungle out there.” Get your roommate to bring you food and water.

Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your roommate that you hit the bull’s eye.

Hire a night watchman to guard the room while you are sleeping.

Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Then, look up and say, “I think this game goes a lot faster with two players.”

Collect potato chips that you think look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, “It had to be done.”

Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. (“Frank Johnson! Oh, wow! 837-9494! Holy cow!”)

When you walk into the room, look at your roommate in disgust and yell, “Oh, you’re here!” Walk away yelling and cursing.

Leave memos on your roommate’s bed that say things like, “I know what you did,” and “Don’t think you can fool me.” Sign them in blood.

Make cue cards for your roommate. Get them out whenever you’d like to have a conversation.

Watch “Psycho” every day for a month. Then act excited every time your roommate goes to take a shower.

Oh the truth of this comic!!!!

Navy Green and Yellow

Today Garrett called me and was like come to the Jazz game with Mitch and me. Well… me? Turn down a Jazz game? You’ll never see the day. We got 3 tickets for $20… quite the steal. They were nosebleeds but hey, it was great! They were playing the Blazers. Our seats ended up being the 16th row in the nosebleeds about 7 rows from the very tippy top.

We watched the first quarter and most of the second from up there and while the game was going on we were scoping seats down in the lower bowl in hopes of moving down there. We didn’t see anybody checking tickets down there so 3 minutes left in the 2^nd quarter we decided to head down. We had scoped out some seats that were absolutely perfect… 3 together, 9^th row, right behind the team. It was perfect! We got to the portal and headed in. Some people were coming out and Mitch went in between them and got in. Garrett and I had to wait for the said people to go by and then this lovely usher made his appearance. “Ticket?” haha well we basically just stood there and Garrett did his best to fake the “I don’t have it with me” it didn’t work. It got even better when we couldn’t call Mitch because Garrett’s phone decided to die and clear out everything. Eventually Mitch noticed and came back out. We walked around to try and get a game plan and finally we decided we’d go in the portal next to it and make our way across. Garrett was nervous and just wanted to go back up… normally I would’ve been like it isn’t worth it but these seats were basically on the floor! I wanted them… a lot. So Mitch and me decided to go in and so we told Garrett to come on... he still wasn't sure and didn't come right away. We got to the other side and got down to these awesome seats. Well somebody had already snatched them up! Mitch was going to go down and tell them that they were our seats but then he decided against it… Garrett did eventually come in. We realized we weren’t going to be that lucky and decided to head to the other side of the court where we noticed some other seats that were empty. We forgot exactly where they were but luckily Mitch had taken a picture from up above so we zoomed in on the picture to find the row. It was a lot easier to get in on this side. The usher wasn’t nearly as concerned. We found 5 empty seats (they weren’t bad – row 14) and made ourselves comfy. By this time the 2^nd half had already started. Less than 2 minutes later a couple came back with their beer and were like these are our seats…. Okay so we got up and moved… there were 4 empty seats across the isle so we tried that. That lasted for about 5 minutes. Some angry dude with his beer came down and started getting after Mitch… these are MY seats. Okay sir, sorry, we’ll be on our way.

By this point we gave up and headed back up to the nosebleeds. This is the view we ended up with . . .

It was an okay game, not too exciting though. We were never in the lead… it was semi disappointing. The fourth quarter was pretty disappointing…. At some point during our musical chair act we fell behind 10 points. We never really caught up. The final score was 98 – 87. Devin Harris did really well though and Gordon Hayward, and I’m pretty sure half our team was out with injuries. The injury report was as follows:

Okur – is out for the season because of his back, Kirilenko – bruised nerve in left knee, Price – left leg and shin, Bell – sprained right foot, Fesenko – sprained thumb, Harris – strained right hamstring.

Harris did end up playing and he scored the most points for the team at 26.

The game got over around 11 and by the time I got back up to the dorms it was like 11:30. I got back to my room and it was dark. I found it odd… well I walked in and she was already in bed. I just find it hilarious! Whenever I go out and come back later she is always in bed… I think she does this to try and make me feel guilty. It doesn’t work, especially when every other day she doesn’t go to bed until at least 1 AM. And then when I come in and have to move around and get ready for bed the drama starts . . . the thrashing of the covers, dramatically sandwiching the head between the pillows. Hahaha it’s rather entertaining. Well it was a pretty great night and I’m sure tomorrow will be just as good!

Hey, what’s the difference between the Utah Jazz and a dollar bill?

You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

What do you call 15 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA finals?

The Utah Jazz.

Haha I’m just kidding I am and will forever be a Jazz fan! I love them to death no matter how much we lose.

Strawberries and Chocolate

Me vs. the world. As of lately the world is winning. What an awkward time in life. It’s confusing, lonely, and slow and seems to be going nowhere. School seems to be going on forever and it’s bringing too much anxiety for my liking. Anxiety…. Isn’t that a regular occurrence as of lately. It’s a good thing I have my family. I don’t do well without them, more on that later. Well through all the rough there are good times and this past weekend was quite enjoyable.

It was conference weekend I headed down to my house. Garrett came up and brought his special friend with him. She stayed the weekend as well. All things considered it went better than expected and I rather liked her. But time will tell where all that will go.

So Friday I went down to my house and did some homework and hung out with my mom and Amanda. That night we all hung out together and ended up watching “How Do You Know” It’s a good show but lags a little in the middle and towards the end.

Saturday we woke up and watched conference. I’ll be honest I had a hard time paying attention so it’s my goal to go back and watch the talks when I get a chance. After the first session we went to the mall and got lunch. I’m excited I can actually go back without worrying about anything. We found the Katy Perry OPI crackle nail polish… I was a bit excited. It looks really cool but I’ll admit I already took it off… I wanted something simpler. While we’re on the topic of nails I want to try the sally Hansen file off nail polish strips … any body want to try them with me? Later that night the boys went to priesthood and the girls went to a movie, “Source Code” AMAZING movie! It has Jake Gyllenhaal in it and if that isn’t enough to get you to go, it really was an incredible movie. Stuff blows up so guys will enjoy it. When the movie was over we went and met up with the boys at home and then the 6 of us went to dinner at Su Casa possibly my favorite place to get Mexican food. I talked Garrett into going to the black pool after dinner and he FINALLY agreed… it only took how many months? It was rainy and dark too haha what a perfect night! Well we got there and come to find out they bulldozed the pool. I was very disappointed. You could see the hole but it wasn’t the same. We headed to a park after even though it was pouring rain. We played on this merry-go-round type thing and needless to say Garrett pretty much dominated. When we finally got home we tried to go to bed but ended up staying up way too late watching movies, making bracelets, and talking. We didn’t go to bed until a little after 4. Haha What were we thinking?

Well Sunday we woke up to waffles… I enjoyed it. I love waffles! Especially my dad’s made from scratch waffles. Oh did I mention we also woke up to 3 inches of fresh snow on the ground? Yeah, I didn’t like it. Well Sunday was pretty basic, we played some games and then during the second session of conference I had to take my parent’s to the airport. I cried when I left them. I don’t do well without them. Even though I don’t live at home just knowing they’re not around for a couple weeks is hard for me. It’s tough growing up. And confusing. Later that night I came back up to campus and pretty much passed out in my bed around 9 O’clock. It was nice to get around 11 hours of sleep after staying up so late … or is it early?

Monday I hung out with my sister for a little while. It was much needed. She’s amazing! I don’t know how she does what she does. She’s really such a great mom and a great sister. I love hanging out with her. We went over to our grandparent’s house for dinner it was great! Mckinley didn’t eat much but when dessert came out she wanted it! We had strawberries, chocolate and whip cream. It was delicious! Mckinley loved the strawberries and then grandma gave her some whip cream on a plate and it was hilarious from there on. Mckinley started to dip the strawberry in it and eat it, then she dipped her strawberry and licked it, finally, she decided if she put the strawberry down, picked up the plate, and licked it, it was a much more efficient way of getting the whip cream. It was a good night.

And now here I am back in class sitting here listening to my teacher go on about things that I disagree with. I’ll give you an example…. He is telling us that the story of Sleeping Beauty is centered on her menstrual period. Umm talk about ruining a fairy tale! He started talking about “that Mormon church” and at that point I totally tuned him out. I don’t care to hear his opinion especially on that topic. So I’ll spend my class time somewhat listening and blogging. I love blogging! I have institute next… I love institute. It’s just fun along with some other factors. I think that’s enough of a novel for one post. I guess I’ll go suffer through the last ten minutes of class. Facebook anyone? ;)

Jazz game tonight

Ready for the Jazz game?

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I am.

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