6.26.2013

The Boring Bachelorette: Week 5


Well we're here boys. From Atlantic City to Munich Germany… They make it look like they rode the train all the way to Europe. 
This was only week five. Am I the only one who feels like this season should've been over before it started? I don't know how much more of it I can take honestly. Oh and in case you didn't catch it one of the 24 times they mentioned it... it was Des' first time in Europe. 

So Chris get's the first one on one date. I'm thinking it will be something really cool because it's Des' first time in Europe. It's not. It's a super dull date. Now, we've seen Des try and speak spanish to Juan Pablo… but her German? Just stick to english Des. Stick to english. 



 If it weren't for Bryden it would have been a complete waste of prime time television. Good thing they added in those minutes of him scouring the streets of Germany for Des. He asks the locals if they know where she is... Maybe he should've just turned around and been like hey, dude with the camera following me, where's Des? 
Also am I the only one who noticed that in the midst of the guys discussing Bryden, they were all wearing the same hoodie just in different colors? 
Bryden shows up and spares Des and Chris from their ridiculous dancing. The previews make it look like Chris is going to beat the begeezes out of him but as usual it is the polar opposite. 
So Bryden leaves and Des get's all pissed off. Well, that whole situation ticked me off. She wants the guys to be honest with her... so he is... but how dare he.... how could somebody not love her? 
 He "broke her heart" and how dare somebody break her heart... I mean it was her first time in Europe. It was clear she didn't care about him. She didn't even hug him goodbye. She was obviously really upset about never seeing him again. 

Group Date 

Best part of it all? Juan pablo - there was a juggler … I don't even know how to say it … yudler… yudeler…. yodeler...there ya go buddy! 
Then they all went sledding. Which was a complete blast because it was Des' first time in Europe. 
I wonder with every activity they do if they ask them in their interviews to compare that activity to the bachelorette experience… 
sledding is like finding love…. 
Competing to be The Bachelor's Mr. America is like finding love…. 
making a rap video is like finding love…. 
Sitting in this hotel room is like finding love...

2 on 1 Date 

Okay, I first need to get this off my chest. 
Every time I see Michael G. 


All I can think of is the Mayor of Whoville. 

 
Anyways. Michael starts off by saying things like I'm hoping Des picked me to help expose him (Ben)…. I am an attorney and I do have certain tactics when trying to expose the truth. He also said something about cross-examining but his ego got to big and muffled the mic.
Des wants to do the polar bear plunge. . . yet another regurgitated Bachelor date. But who cares it's her first time in Europe. Just kidding the polar bear plunge would be too much stimulation for our boring bachelorette Des so we better just sit in a hot tub tug. That's exactly what I'd want to be doing if I were in Germany. 


I'm pretty sure Michael was more into interrogating Ben than being on a date with Des. 
Basically that date was painful to watch and super awkward even for all of us at home on the couch. Michael wouldn't stop hounding Ben about everything he could and Des didn't feel the need to step in and stick up for anybody. How dare she have to do something like that her first time in Europe. She thought the best option was to just sit and watch. But then again, look at how her brother acts. She's used to this kind of juvenile behavior. I guess that explains why she chose Michael over Ben. I myself was shocked. My favorite part was the fact that she said she was giving the rose to someone she could see a future with. Ha! They all deserve each other. I would've sent them both packing. 

If it weren't for the guy drama (the little that there is) this season would be a total bust. No wonder why this season has gotten the worst ratings of The Bachelor ever (no Chris Harrison exaggeration here) 


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