Well, after a week and a half at the hospital my dad is finally home! I'm happy he's all safe and sound.
He still has a little ways to go before he's completely better but he'll get there.
When you spend that much time at the hospital you learn a few things.
like....
- The chairs are uncomfortable.
- The blankets are the equivalent of sandpaper.
- If something isn’t beeping in the room at least every ten minutes, the world probably ended.
- If you get to park within a half mile of the hospital you got lucky.
- The “small” ice cream in the cafeteria is larger than a pint of good ol’ Ben & Jerry’s.
- Ten laps around the floor equals a mile.
- 37.7 degrees celsius = 99.8 degrees fahrenheit.
- The elevators are basically a clown car. You think it’s full and then 10 more people pile in.
- Nightly entertainment includes what I’m assuming is something like the nurse version of the changing of the guards and watching the Jazz keep up that awesome losing streak.
- They do what Buddy the Elf refers to as a “finger prick” every 2 hours to find out his blood sugar level.
- The cute x-ray tech, David, is single and about 27-28.
- The free internet is extremely slow. If I get to see 10 pins in an hour, I’m gettin’ lucky.
- There is no level 3 or 13 in the patient tower. 3s = death.
- Puffy eyes are the norm.
- If you go to the cafeteria around lunchtime it’s what we like to call combat dining.
- The hospital is busier on weekends.
- I can see my brother’s house from the room we’re in.
- The minutes here are even longer than a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
- “You’ll be going home tomorrow” means nothing.
- The “sips and chips” diet translates directly to prescribed anorexia.
- “Code Trauma: Alert 1” means somebody is bleeding to death and the surgeon needs to meet them at the door with the operating table.
- There’s no such thing as TMI.
- Dad can score us anything they have available on the floor… water, soda, Italian ices. I’m sure they’d even bring us some broth if we asked.
- When all else fails, call 33333.
goin' home! |
Ky! Why didn't you tell me about your dad? I guess I was a couple weeks behind on your blogs, sorry I didn't know! Hope he's doing better...oh yeah and guess who's going shopping Thanksgiving Eve in Park City?!? You wanna come? ;) Let's do lunch soon! What do you have going on this Friday afternoon?
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