Why I Don't Date

There are many reasons that I don't date, which makes it kind of hard to know where to start. It's not something I've chosen and if it were up to me, I'd be dating a lot. I don't think it's any secret that I am LDS and families and marriage are a large part of our religion. It's pretty stereotypical that people think every single, young, LDS person in Utah gets married before they're twenty. While this may have had more truth to it 10, 20, 30 years ago, it's not that way anymore. While it is true for some people, it is moving far away from that. Lately, I see more people of different religions who seriously date and are in substantial, progressing relationships and as far as I know, they don't have the same amount of encouragement and religious importance placed on it. But, religion aside, overall it's our entire culture that isn't dating. Recently an article came out stating that there are currently more single people in the US than married. Now, I must clarify and say that I'm not dying to get married tomorrow. Far from that actually. But it would be nice to have the occasional night out and get to know people. So what is stopping me from dating? 

It's all just a game 

Dating used to be about spotting the player and avoiding them. Now, the players are the majority and those who take it seriously, the rare and almost extinct, minority. Nobody is looking for a substantial relationship that stems deeper than the "let's maybe hang out sometime" and an occasional noncommittal, nonchalant "what's up" text message. You don't have to look very far to see that playing games is the new "norm". One word, Tinder. This so called "dating" app is in all honesty everything but. The newer version of Hot or Not encourages hook ups based off of a few pictures and a sentence or two about yourself. If you like what you see, swipe right. If not, swipe left. If you swipe right and it's a mutual match, it will pop up and notify you and do you know what it says? 

 - send Lee Mealone a message? 

Or 

- keep playing

Playing! Even Tinder acknowledges that dating is really nothing more than just a game. And you know who wins this game? The person who cares less. The person who plays the other person harder wins. The person who has no investment in anything wins. The person who is not looking for anything wins. The person who puts no feelings or effort in wins. The people who want to date, who want a relationship, who want to meet people, are those who are condemned in the "dating" world. 

No such thing as a date

I can't recall the last time I went on a "date". I could easily tell you the last time I "hung out" with someone I was interested in who was interested in me as well... But it wasn't a "date". He asked me to "hang out". Even though it had many components of a "date", one on one, one person paying, cuddling, hand holding, etc. but when it came time for a second "date" it was only a "want to hang out?"  

As I said earlier, marriage and families are at the center of the LDS religion and as a result it is often encouraged by the church leaders that twenty-somethings stop hanging out and actually date. I recently had a conversation with one of my friends after he went to a meeting where the single guys were encouraged to date. 

Me: how was conference? 

Him: I feel like I've been to better. but overall it was good. The single guys were called out and told to be social and date. 

Me: I'm glad. I feel like guys are too chicken to ask girls out and no one dates anymore. 

Him: I agree. But it's more fun to just hang out and not go out so to say. 

So there you have it. A twenty-something guy flat out admitting that he won't date. 

Apparently, hanging out requires less effort and guts and is the easy way out, which leads me to this...

No relationship = no break-up 

If you're not dating and are only "hanging out" it requires less involvement on your end, and apparently people hate involvement. If you're only hanging out, you're free to come and go as you please. Hang out with them one week, disappear for two and come and go as you please. Want a make-out or cuddle buddy? You have one on hand and when the night is over, you have no obligation to call them or text them tomorrow or the day after cause you're only "hanging out" with one another and not in a relationship or dating them. We have this attitude of people like the "chase" and playing hard to get and coming across as playing it cool or not caring is the best way to land that special someone.  And to those people who view it that way, I say look around, because it's obviously not working. People think that if there isn't a "break up" it will hurt less and it won't be as bad. But, doesn't it hurt just as much to have someone, who you're obviously interested in, randomly disappear and fall off the face of the planet without any sort of explanation? I stray from the majority when I say that I'd rather have a clear answer rather than some pathetic, gutless, complete cop out of a disappearance. 

Too many options 

There are so many people out there yet we choose to be lonely. There are thousands of people on tinder yet it almost encourages extreme pickiness. It is all based off of looks and basically disregards what really makes up a person.  What about personality, life experiences, ambitions, sense of humor? I think we have all met that one person who was no Adam Levine or Carrie Underwood but once we got to know them, they became more attractive as their personality began to show. 

Along the lines of too many options I can't help but think of something we talked about in one of my advertising/marketing classes. Take a shampoo company ... They have over 30 choices and types of shampoo to choose from. The consumer can stand in front of them for 10 minutes and still not know which one to pick or what will be best for them and as a result they walk away, empty handed, no shampoo. 

A world without dating 

I think it's clear that communication has drastically changed from times in the past. We "socialize" through Facebook, Instagram, and text messages. The actual face to face conversations are rare and are becoming more and more avoided. It's easier to say things through a text than to someone's face. There's not as much risk involved. It's easier to "like" someone's status or picture rather than have an actual conversation about what is going on in their life. Since when does a "like" qualify as a friendship? 

With actual human interaction dying down, the old idea of a courtship has died with it. Long gone are the days of actually asking people on dates and persuing them in a straight forward fashion without the chase and the games. I feel like to find these days we'd have to go back to the times of stage coaches and corsets. And unfortunately Back to the Future is only a movie. 

And that my friends, is why I don't date. 

A Dallas Cowboy and A Semi-Broken Heart

So it’s been a hot minute since I’ve blogged. Quite honestly life has been insanely busy and I’ve had a sore throat that’s basically the equivalent of feeling like I’m swallowing a handful of screws.

I’ve wanted to write this post for a few weeks and just haven’t. I think it’s been one of those things that I think if I ignore, I’ll just magically forget about it all. Ignorance is bliss, right? I figured driving across Nevada was a good time to bust it out and get real. It has been a while since I’ve gotten personal on this here blog, courtesy of The Bachelor, and so I figured I’d give it a go.

It started back in February. I met a guy… at a hockey game (shocker, right?). He actually worked in the office for the team. We started hanging out and things were going good. He had a good head on his shoulders, was fun, had an actual career, and I liked him more than I honestly ever expected. So I guess you could say we were “dating” except I swear that that term is never used anymore and it’s always referred to as “hanging out”. Can’t we all just admit we’re dating?

Well I was heading to Cali for a break in between my spring and summer semesters. I had hung out with him the night before and everything was normal and great. The next morning, I was waiting for my mom to pick me up and take me to the airport when I got a text from him. He said he was going to talk to me about this last night but didn’t want to say anything until he knew it was moving forward. He applied for a job in Dallas with a company that worked alongside the Dallas Cowboys, his favorite sports team ever, and had gotten a second interview and things were looking promising. I was blindsided. I ended up accidentally leaving my boarding pass on my window seal. I was shocked because he had talked about stuff we were going to do all summer and as far as he knew he was going to be here at least another season with the hockey team. I held it together pretty well. That was until my sister picked me up and I broke down. Awesome.

Within the week I was at my sister’s I found out he had basically gotten the job. There were still a few things to finalize but the offer was on the table. He was moving. A week and a half after he had told me, everything was in place. He had a start date, had an apartment lined up, and he was going. A week after that we said our goodbyes and with that he was gone. 1300 miles gone. Everything had changed within two and a half weeks in ways I never thought to expect. I felt like I blinked and he was gone.

It’s been about 3 and a half weeks and I’ve held it together pretty well overall. Not going to lie I do have my occasional cry session but it’s not like a typical “break-up” breakdown. I guess that was the whole reason of this post. The whole thing was something I honestly never thought would happen to me (dating someone who moves away). It’s definitely different. I don’t blame him at all for taking the job, it was pretty close to his dream job and I wouldn’t expect anything else. The whole thing was just definitely a new experience. It wasn’t like things ended because of him, or me. It was life. Life got in the way.

As hard and unexpected as it was I feel like it was a good reminder that relationships don’t always have to end on a negative note. It’s nice to walk away not hating someone and being full of resentment. It’s nice to be able to look back and know that I don’t have to associate any of those memories with a bad ending. Because of that I’ll always look at it in a more positive light. It was refreshing in a way for it to end for a reason other than a lack of chemistry, compatibility, or someone’s flaws and because of that I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

So there you have it, Kylie getting real. Explains a little bit of my absence. Not all of it but some. 

Thank You, Tinder

I'm sure by now you have all heard of a little app called Tinder. It's basically a newer improved version of "hot or not". Swipe right if you're interested, swipe left if you're not. It's basically all based off of looks and the other person's picture. I'm guilty of using this app, even though it immediately got deleted after it provided me with this gem of a guy. It was back in December. We started talking and I agreed to a date. He seemed normal. Key word being seemed. We had plans to go to dinner and a movie. Even though I'm not a fan of a movie on a first date I decided I had nothing to lose.

This date happened to fall on the biggest snow storm we had had all year. We're talking snowing for hours, 6 inches on the roads, you probably shouldn't go anywhere cause you'll probably die, snow storm. He picked me up and we headed to dinner. I'll be honest, it was one of those dates that was awkward from start to finish. The whole thing was pretty much doomed from the start. We got to dinner and he wasn't super talkative. He wasn't completely quiet but quiet enough that I had to continually come up with conversation topics to the point that it was anything but a naturally flowing conversation. We ordered and it wasn't less than 2 minutes later I looked over and saw my aunt, uncle, and cousins across the restaurant. I was actually relieved to see them because it gave me a slight distraction from the impending awkwardness at my table. We got our food and he barely ate any of his sandwich. We're talking he maybe took two bites and I'm sorry but if you're going to put an Applebee's oriental chicken salad in front of this girl, girl's gonna eat. He basically sat there and just stared at me while I downed my salad. Normally, I would've been super self conscious and all but at this point I had kind of already realized that this date was just not happenin'. A few minutes later our waiter came over and told us that someone had paid for our dinner. It was obviously my uncle. My date didn't say two words about it. At. All. It kind of shocked me. We were getting ready to leave and he didn't want to take his practically untouched meal home with him (I'm a big believer in doggy bags haha) and he didn't even think about leaving a tip. I mentioned something about leaving a tip and he just kinda stared at me. I wasn't about to leave without acknowledging the decent service we got so I grabbed cash out of my wallet and left it on the table. End dinner scene. 

We got in the car and I figured we would be on our way to a movie. I asked him what movie we were going to and it was then that he informed me we'd actually just be going to his house to watch a movie (he still lived at home). I was in shock and didn't know what to say because when he asked me out he specifically said we would go see a movie in theaters. He lived across the valley from me which made for a scary drive in the snow and I was sure I was going to die. Part of me was wishing we'd get in a fender bender so that this date could end right then and there. That's how incredibly uncomfortable this date was. Little did I know how much more awkward it would get in the next half hour. 

We got to his parents house and we went into the TV room. His mom and dad were cuddled up on the couch watching the old school Rudolph movie. So what did we do until their movie was over? We stood in the room awkwardly. We're talking 15 minutes of just standing there hovering over his parents. I can't even express the level of awkward at this point in the night. 

Their movie finally got over and they got up and left the room. I asked him what movie we were going to watch and he told me he was super laid back and didn't care and that I should pick. I was trying to be nice and asked his opinion on movies while trying to pick one out. They had a stack of Christmas movies sitting there and I figured this was a good way to go. I instantly snatched them up, started flipping them over, and looking for that microscopic number that told me just how much longer I'd have to be there. Yes, I was basing my decision off of how many minutes the movies were. I was trying to decide quickly and chose How The Grinch Stole Christmas, the one with Jim Carrey. He looked at me and then informed me that, "well, I don't like that movie." So, I picked another Christmas movie. He proceeded to do that to all 3 movies I picked. I finally told him to decide. You know what he picked?  The Lake House.

 I can't make this stuff up guys. We started it and I sat on the furthest end of that couch that I possibly could. He sat on the complete opposite, which I was very grateful for. But by the end of the 99 minutes of his favorite Sandra Bullock flick he was a mere inch and a half away from me. Cringe. Luckily I had my coat thrown over my lap and my hands strategically tucked under it so he couldn't even try to hold my hand. 

As soon as the movie was over I had him take me home right away blaming it on the weather. We went to head out to the car and his mom was convinced that his dad should drive us because of the weather. I'm pretty sure at this point it would have been a better (and safer) option to walk home in the blizzard. He told his dad he was fine and we headed home... basically he was a pretty scary driver and we ended up a few inches away from the bumper of the car ahead of us on more than one occasion. Apparently he thought during a huge snow storm would be the opportune time to pretend he was a driver for The Fast and the Furious. We finally made it to my house and I was beyond grateful. Little did I know that this would not be the end of him. 

You see, what I perceived to be a horrendous and cringe worthy date he perceived as a perfect one and was convinced we hit it off and there would be more. I'm a firm believer in the fact that the two C's have to be there for anything to happen. Those being Chemistry and Compatibility. Those weren't there. At. All. 

In the dating world I'm used to, if you're not interested in someone the conversations end and there's not much communication, which is a pretty obvious sign that it just wasn't there. Normally the other person gets it and that's that. But that wasn't the case here. He would not leave me alone and would not stop trying to contact me. This went on for more than a month after our date and he hadn't heard one word from me after he dropped me off. I know that is kind of harsh but I didn't respond hoping he'd get the hint and to be honest I hate confrontation. 

(These are just the ones I grabbed screen shots of... There were a LOT more) 

 I got endless phone calls. Close to one a day. They weren't just missed calls either. They were always accompanied by 3 minute long voicemails. 

He wouldn't leave me alone on Facebook. And he used my name way too much when he tried to talk to me. Don't get me wrong. I like it when a guy uses my name, it usually means they're pretty interested in you. But there is also a point where this becomes creepy and in every single message he sent?

I got daily snapchat pictures from him. 

I got daily text messages. 

I unfriended him on Facebook in hopes that it would help. I wish I were exaggerating when I say he sent me a friend request two minutes later. 

It really got me that every time he talked to me he asked about "us". There is no US!!! There never has been, is, or will be. I'm sorry.

I finally couldn't take it anymore and he just kept contacting me more and more. I finally confronted him through a conversation on Facebook and I tried to be as nice as I possibly could be while still letting him know where I stood. This is how the conversation went 

Me: You didn't do anything, it's just not there for me. 

Him: Okay. What exactly does that even mean? 

Me: I'm not interested. I'm sorry

Him: Oh

twenty minutes later 

Him: Okay

thirteen minutes later 

Him: It fine

(yes, it. Not it's)

Me: Best of luck with everything 

Him: Thanks you too

hours later 

Him: are we still friends

two hours later 

Him: Well i guess this is goodbye then

The next day 

Him: Thanks for the fun date and it was nice knowing you the short period of time

Me: I'm sorry, don't be mad. I'm just trying to be honest with you. I didn't realize you'd be so invested.

Him: I'm not attached I'm just very sad that we aren't going to be friends. 

He said a few more things but I just ended it there.   

I had been on a few Tinder dates before this but after this date you can be sure that Tinder got deleted.

Sorry this post was a mile long... I debated about splitting it up into 2 but I figured I'd just throw it all out there. 

Here's some fun facts so you can get a better picture of this guy.... 

- He told me that he had a pet dog, two baby birds, a rabbit, a squirrel, and a pet fox. (no joke) 

- When he went on an LDS mission his companion full on ran away from him just to get away because he couldn't take it anymore. It took them 24 hours to find his companion. (and yes, he told me this on the first date)

- He works with something dealing with women's underwear

- He doesn't drive on the freeway

and oh yeah 

- He wants to be a PE teacher. 

What disastrous Tinder stories do you guys have? Cause I know I'm not the only one. 

The Difference Between Men and Women

Being single means dating. Dating means lots of over thinking. Over thinking means unnecessary stress. At least this is the trend in my life. I don't know about the rest of all you single folk. Whenever a new guy comes into my life the wheels start turning and the over analyzing begins. At least thats my usual M.O. Lately my poor sister has caught the brunt of my over thinking. I seriously call her at least once a day demanding her opinion and advice on EVERYTHING. Thank heavens she is super patient! 

This basically sums up our relationship. 

I was on my way to school yesterday when she texted me a link to an article. Basically this article is dead on and has eased my mind. At least for the next 24 hours and then I'm sure I'll be back to my over analyzing ways. 

If you're anything like me, I promise you it's worth the read! 

Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Fred," Martha says aloud.

"What?" says Fred, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Fred.

"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Fred.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.

"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Fred.

"That way about time," says Martha.

"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Fred," she says.

"Thank you," says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women. 

*http://m.tickld.com/x/the-difference-between-men-and-women*

So is that a pretty good description of the different ways men and women think? 

How do you guys stop over analyzing relationships? 

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend! 

The 12 days of Christmas: ring and run

This year I decided to do the twelve days of Christmas for a friend. I didn't want to do the typical 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves, and 1 over-rated Christmas song. 

That just screams boring to me and let's face it… The Twelve Days of Christmas is basically the Christmas version of 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall. 

So I decided to mix it up and do it in true Kylie fashion.

I spent a ton of time on it and to be quite honest, I think I overdid it for this "friend" 

(more on that later) 

You can find the tags I used here. 

(Sorry the first couple of pictures aren't that great. I grabbed the pictures as I was running out the door to go deliver them.)

On the first day I attached a note that said 

"This glad Christmas season is so full of fun. 

I'm happy to share it with you and then run.

How grateful I am that you're playing my game.

You'll now find that Christmas won't be the same.

The song that we sing twelve days in a row

Won't get tiresome with treats from someone you know.

But to keep up the mystery and the fun,

you won't know who I am until I'm all done! 

Each night I'll bring something 

Please don't watch for me coming.

If you catch me too soon, 

It will spoil the fun that's coming!"

On the 1st day of Christmas 

your secret elf brings a surprise

1 brand new game

for you to play tonight. 

On the 2nd day of Christmas

I leave outside your door

2 puzzles for your fun

now who could ask for more?

On the 3rd day of Christmas

we're hoping for a storm 

but with these 3 pairs of socks

your toes will sure be warm.

On the 4th day of Christmas 

I bring a special treat 

4 bags of Hershey's kisses

because I think you're neat. 

On the 5th day of Christmas 

again I come your way

this time with 5 boxes of goldfish

please won't you let them stay? 

 On the 6th day of Christmas 

with 6 more left to go 

take some time and trim the tree and hang some mistletoe 

I'm sure by now you need a break so have a nice cool drink

6 cans of fizz is sure to help, at least that's what I think. 

On the 7th day of Christmas 

I hope I don't get caught 

I know 7 pieces of candy 

might really hit the spot!

On the 8th day of Christmas 

the rushing never stops 

so stop and sit a little while

with these 8 lollipops. 

On the 9th day of Christmas 

It was getting hard to choose

but with 9 tubes of Chapstick

I felt I could not lose. 

On the 10th day of Christmas 

with Santa coming soon

I've brought you 10 nice bright

 balloons to decorate your room. 

(These were intended to be filled with helium but my 12 days got cut short… more on that later) 

On the 11th day of Christmas

well, well, how time does fly

so here are 11 pencils 

that you'll use by and by.

On the 12th day of Christmas 

there's 12 months in a year 

please make sure each one

is filled with lots of cheer. 

(it's a calendar) 

here are a couple links where you can find more ideas for different rhymes and gift ideas 

here and here 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Here's the end of the crafty show and tell…. now comes my 12 days of Christmas saga. 

Buckle up. 

I met this "friend" about a month ago. We hit it off and things were going surprisingly well. I didn't initiate anything and he was taking the lead, which was fine by me. He hasn't had the best circumstances this past month and so I decided that maybe doing the 12 days of Christmas would be a good idea. The night before I was supposed to start I decided I wasn't going to do it. I got talked into doing it and decided that yeah, it would be a good idea. I'm telling you… listen to your gut instincts people. Just do it. It will save you in the end. 

The first three days went fairly well. Then I got home from delivering on the 3rd night and had a lovely conversation with said boy. Readers digest version… he was leading me on and admitted it. Jerk. I'm sorry that I got the wrong impression but holding hands and cuddling usually isn't a "just friends" type of deal. He blamed it on the fact that he had had a serious relationship before that didn't end well and he was hesitant about relationships now. WELCOME TO THE FREAKING WORLD!!! That's how everyone is! and do you know why? It's because of guys like him that lead people on that make people hesitant! So way to fuel your own fire bud! 

I decided after that that I was done wasting my time and energy on someone who didn't care about me and was only playing games. He didn't acknowledge the fact that I have feelings and I was done spending the time and effort trying to show him I cared. I barely got a half-assed thank you outta him. 

I wanted to quit right then and there… I honestly didn't feel it was worth my effort with those last 9 days. If it were up to me and my crazy ways it would've gone something like this…. 

"On the 4th day of Christmas you're a jerk so I quit" 

No matter how bad I really wanted to say that, I knew it would make me look like a complete idiot and I didn't want to treat him the way he treated me. And I'm sorry, but I could not just stop after day 3. It's like only closing the garage door 1/4 of the way and calling it good. 

So I ventured out and got one of those really large Christmas gift bags. You know the kind. The kind that are so large that when you walk by you think why on earth would anyone need a gift bag the size of Texas. I'll tell you why. To deliver a mass amount of gifts all at once because quite frankly you just don't give a ish anymore and you're done wasting your time delivering them. 

The dude lives a good 20 minutes away from me, which meant that one trip out there ended up being close to an hour with traffic. That kind of time each day times 12 days. You do the math… it just wasn't worth it anymore. I would rather be enjoying my Christmas break hanging out with people who care about me and dating guys that take things seriously. I packed the 9 remaining days up in my woolly mammoth sized gift bag and ditched it at his door. (hence why the 10 balloons were not blown up) 

So that's my saga. It was a total bust and totally not worth it. I did have fun putting it all together I just wish it would've turned out differently. Who knew that trying to do something kind could end a friendship in a nano second.

This is the bag full of all the crap. The first bag because oh yeah... did I mention the first one ripped so I had to go find another gargantuan gift bag. I'm telling you. I waste too much time on guys. You think I'd learn.