Bachelor Recap: Week 2

Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again… at least that's what OK GO would say. (It's actually a really good music video if you want to watch it. It's super creative.)

Alright, let's bust this out!

Clare got the first date. She is just super excited if you couldn't tell. She hasn't felt this alive ever, and she just doesn't date back home, yada yada, this is so life changing, I'm in love (even though she's spent probably a grand totally of 10 minutes with him prior to this date). He picks her up and blind folds her before they get in the car. This obviously makes the viewers that much more excited because it's not like they showed us what the date was going to be on the previous Sunday night special. Clare's super anxiety has kicked in and we hear her say, "where in the world are we?!?" well Clare, you're blind folded, I don't think you're supposed to know that. But then again maybe the function of a blind fold has changed since I last checked.

They arrive at their "winter wonderland" and wow, it was just… SO romantic! They play around and eventually end up in a hot tub, cause you know… that's what you do on The Bach-aye-lore. She tells him about her dad and how after his death she turned into an "ice queen". haha. She's so punny. Do you think Juan Pablo even got that pathetic little metaphor? And let's be honest. Would ABC let Clare go on a date and not talk about her dad and how hard her life is? No.

Then all of the sudden, a noise, off in the distance. What could it possibly be? It's not like there has EVER been a musical performance on a date before so it's probably LA's high school marching band practicing at 2 a.m. They run over to see Josh Krajcik. Anybody know who that is? Cue the crickets. But of course they're both excited because they definitely know who he is. They dance and it starts snowing which just baffles Clare. "it's snowing! Where in the world is it coming from?" umm honey, it's called a snow machine. Do you really think it would be snowing in the middle of So. Cal? Whatevs. She gets a rose.

Then we have Kat on the second one on one date. They took a private plane to the good ol' 801 (holler!) because Salt Lake City is just where you would choose to fly to for a date if you had a private plane and endless funds from ABC.

They ended up getting to "lead" an electric fun run. If I were Kat and knew about Clare's date and how much one on one time they got and I had to spend mine with a 1,000 other people, I'd be pissed. Their date was basically one big rave and got much less air time. At the end of the run they end up on stage pretending they can dance. There's a rose on a lit up podium. At this point it was pretty obvious she was going to get the rose because again, do you think ABC would put them in this situation and not allow Juan Pablo to give her the rose. He knows he really likes her because of all that deep romantic conversation while running amongst thousands of stoners with glow sticks. Overall I will admit it looked like a fun event and it was totally different from any other date they've done on this show but for a one on one date I just don't think it was… I don't know, but it would've been a better group date.

Then the group date card arrives and everyone is on it except Sharleen, Danielle, and Amy. (More on them later) The date card reads "say cheese!" Kelly uses her detective skills to figure out that this probably means it's a photo shoot… or eating cheese. Some quality girls we've got here. Quality I tell ya.

The group date rolls around and they're doing a photo shoot for some dog/animal charity. It was awkward to watch. It was just weird and the costumes and things they were wearing were just, interesting. Elise and Andi were supposed to be donning a piece of cardboard approximately 3x8 inches. Umm it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that that definitely won't cover uhhhh excuse my french..boobs and their hoo-hah. Elise decides to ask our professional free spirit, Lucy, if she would trade her for the fire hydrant suite. Lucy agrees. It didn't take much convincing at all because as we could see from earlier this episode, Ms. Au Natural has no problem with never wearing clothes. Ever. We then see her parading around the set and then… out on the street?! Walking a dog naked. Andi also didn't want to pose as a caveman with minor coverage and she is really worried about it. I honestly thought that she wasn't going to do it and I was respecting her so much. Then Juan Pablo shows up and persuades her to do it with him and of course she can't say no because she's so in love, and he's so dreamy, and also because ABC told her to.

After party time… Victoria. Need I say more? So let's get this straight, we've got a professional free spirit, single moms, a hyped up news reporter, former NBA dancer, science educator, dog lover, and an alcoholic. Some awesome professions here people. Basically the highlight of the party was Victoria getting sloshed. She saw Juan Pablo talking to Nikki and freaked out because… well we don't know why exactly. So that left Renee to crawl under the bathroom stall to figure out what her issue was. She should've gotten the rose for being the one to crawl on the gross bathroom floor all in the name of the drunkard. Isn't one of the girls a psychiatric nurse? Where was she? My favorite line from this part, and I don't remember who said it, but they said "this isn't an us issue, or a Juan Pablo issue, this is a Victoria  issue." Basically she ends up going even crazier saying she wants to go home. And then we see one of the producers, Elan, I think his name is on screen. When we see a producer on screen you know the drama is good. I did think that Juan Pablo handled it pretty well and I thought that the way Lucy interrupted him and another girl's one on one time was done very politely and in a classy way. I myself was shocked to see Lucy act like this. Props to her on that one.

Juan Pablo visits Victoria at the hotel the next morning because we obviously couldn't send her back to the mansion. He decides that an alcoholic might not be the best step-mom and lets her go.

The cocktail party seemed pretty short to me this episode but then again that's just me.

Amy got her one-on-one time that she was so desperate for and decides to spend it in her super annoying, overly confident, awkward and weird reporter persona. Good thing she had her fake microphone nearby. Breaking News!!!! You're not getting a rose. She actually doesn't get a rose but I think we could all tell from her reporting stint that she wouldn't.

In the end it was Amy, Chantel, and Victoria that got the boot.

Who thinks that we should just call it a season and declare Molly the dog the winner and next Bachelorette?

I personally hope there's lots of drama next week, we shall see.