Farmer Chris: A Serial Kisser AKA Bachelor Week 3

Okay, I've been super super sick lately and didn't even start doing recaps when the season first started. I thought about doing it last week and then it just didn't happen. I almost didn't do it this week either but I thought, why not? It's kind of been a staple on my blog for quite some time now. I know I'm starting on week 3 but this whole consistent blogging thing hasn't been my forte lately. So hopefully we'll get some weekly recaps going. 

The episode starts with Jimmy Kimmel creeping in on a sleeping Farmer Chris. Apparently he’s “taking over” this week and we had no idea because ABC didn’t clue us in at all. He makes an appearance at the mansion and brings out the “amazing jar” and tells them he’s just there to sleep with them all. I wonder how his wife feels about that. He never lets this “joke” go for the rest of the episode. Let's be honest. Chris Harrison doesn't do anything on the show so why in the world would we need a co-host of sorts? If the girls were wondering why the dates weren't as extravagant this week I think they could find the answer by that check in Jimmy Kimmel's pocket. 

Kaitlyn gets the first date card and everyone thinks it is going to be extravagant. Well, they went to Costco. I think the only person who would like this date would be my dad. Costco is the only store he goes to. Anyways, Farmer Chris has probably never seen a store this size since he is from Podunk farm town, population: him. Once he asked where the "toy isle" was I am sure he has never been to Costco before. 

I’m not quite sure what Kaitlyn decided to wear on the date. It was an interesting outfit choice if I do say so myself. She made it clear that she was bummed they went to Costco for their date but if she can’t handle that then she isn’t the one for Farmer Chris. If going to Costco isn’t exciting for her then sitting at home with a weekly trip to the Piggly Wiggly isn’t going to suffice.

They go back to his place and make out and Farmer Chris has lipstick smeared all over his face. It was safe to say his lips were a full on Revlon Strawberry Topaz shade of pink. Jimmy of course has to show up. They cook dinner and Jimmy awkwardly stays the rest of the night. Kaitlyn says she’s into farmers and Jimmy asks her questions about it…

Jimmy: you’ve dated farmers

Kaitlyn: … uhhh yeah……

Jimmy: What kind of farmers were they?

Kaitlyn:…… umm…. Like legit farmers. Like with cows.

Jimmy: So how many farmers have you dated.

Kaitilyn…uhhh just one actually.

Nothing like catching you in your lies Kaitlyn.

Ever since she stepped out of the limo and said something along the lines of “You can plow my field anytime” I haven’t liked Kaitlyn. She’s not very lady like. So on second thought, maybe she does belong in a field in the middle of no where. Anyways, still don’t like her. She also has some really weird choices for tattoo placement.

Group date time….

They have a little farm obstacle course and Carly wins. As her prize she gets a photo op where they dress up like the famous American Gothic painting. Do they realize that in the painting it is supposed to be a farmer and his daughter? Not like husband and wife …. So there’s that.

Carly kisses Farmer Chris during their alone time.

Amber kisses Farmer Chris during their alone time.

Jillian kisses Farmer Chris during their alone time.

Mackenzie, little 21 year old Mackenzie, gets pissed off because he’s kissing other girls. Has she ever seen The Bachelor before? Probably not. it was probably on after her bedtime.  How did she even get cast on this show? She’s 21. 21! And Farmer Chris is 33. 33! I totally understand age gaps in relationships. I do. But the maturity level between 21 and 33 is quite drastic. How she made it on the show and how she is still around is beyond me.

Becca gets the group date rose. I actually really like Becca even though I feel like we haven’t seen much of her yet. One of my top favorites. 

Whitney gets the next one on one date with Farmer Chris. They go to a winery and sit and have awkward conversation and “decide” they’re going to go “crash” this wedding. They go change and get a present… more like the producers handed them one…. And they head off to the reception. And of course they have to make it dramatic by having Farmer Chris say, “we could end up in jail.” hahaha Riiiiiiight. Don't fret Farmer Chris, ABC already made sure it was okay to have you go. 

I’m pretty sure this was super set up… they have video of them at the wedding. Whether it was with an actual camera or a phone is beside the point. If someone was videoing that much, regardless on what device, someone was bound to know. Also the people’s faces weren’t blurred out which means ABC must have gotten their permission. So yeah that was super “spontaneous”! Just like the rest of the show, right? 

I wonder if they paid for Farmer Chris to take dance lessons... because it really paid off. 

It must have been super convenient that they didn’t have another activity planned for that night.

Also I’m pretty sure the song they had playing when they were slow dancing was on previous seasons of this show. Like pretty sure. How could any of us Bachelor fans forget that cringe worthy song? 

Anyways Whitney gets a rose.

Surprise, no cocktail party. Pool party instead. We’ve seen it before.

Ashley I. was super bummed that she couldn’t do her “Kardashian look” tonight. Cue the limo. We’ve had enough of her.

Juelia tells Farmer Chris about how she lost her husband and it was pretty sad.

Cut to commercial break… come back and they pretend that whole depressing conversation didn’t just happen.

Jade gets Farmer Chris to take her to his place. There she decides they need to “test his bed”. Also, did you check out her hooker shoes she brought to the pool party? So they make out while Jillian is awkwardly standing outside in his hot tub, which, by the way, is not filled up with ketchup. Blame Farmer Chris and Kaitlyn for that one. 

Megan, Mackenzie, and Ashley I. go and awkwardly meet up with Jillian and Farmer Chris in the hot tub. The three of them talk about who should get the next alone time and Farmer Chris just sits there awkwardly watching. Man up Farmer Chris and take some initiative. He obviously didn't want to take to any of the three. 

Ashley I. Finally gets her alone time after having a cry fest and she’s happy.

So the kiss count this far if you weren’t keeping track….

Kaitylyn, Carly, Amber, Jillian, Whitney, Britt, Jade, and Ashley I.

I think it’s safe to say that Farmer Chris is a serial kisser compared to previous bachelors. And we thought they were bad. 

Rose Ceremony time… Ashley I. is called last and about craps her pants.

Amber, Trina, and Tracy are sent packing.

2 last things….

1. How is crazy eyed Ashley still around??

And

2. I caught 2 “amazings” that they didn’t ding that stupid bell for. How many did you catch?

Oh, Hey!

Well, it's been a hot minute since I blogged last. It's hard to just jump back in after such a long hiatus. But why not just jump in.

 Let's see.... I disappeared because...

    1) My internship... (to all you Bachelor fans out there) did I mention I got to work with Michelle
        Money? I didn't do much at my internship but it kept me busy for a few hours a week.
    2) Finals - I had finals and papers to write in November. I also had to turn them in earlier than they
        were really due because of reason 3...
    3) Spain! - I spent a good 2 weeks in Spain over Thanksgiving. You bet it was amazing and you bet
        there will be a photo dump post of all the pics from Spain. I've been quite a few places over seas
        and this one is definitely on the top of my list.
    4) The day after I got back from Spain I got an excruciating sore throat. It never went away. I was,
         have been, and still am pretty sick. I've spent the last two days passed out on the couch. Long
         story short I get to get my tonsils out on Feb. 10th.
    5) My sister came from California to visit for Christmas and was here almost the whole month of
         December. Woo woo! It was so much fun. Especially with her 4 little munchkins running
         around... okay well only 3 of them can run. But still.
    6) And lastly, but not leastly (ha) there may be a new special guy friend in my life. And he gets a
          good chunk of my time. And I'm not complaining.


But yeah... I'm back and I have plans to stick around. At least I hope to! I've missed blogging and it feels good to be back!

But We Can't

I've basically been anywhere but here lately. I'll try to explain all that another day. But for now I thought this was too funny to not talk about. So, in case you missed it, we made a landing on a comet. Of course this was super cool but what would this world be without bringing something like this up on social media? With the news of the landing came a hashtag on twitter.

#wecanlandonacometbutwecant

Some of them were pretty great... These are my favorite...

Why I Don't Date

There are many reasons that I don't date, which makes it kind of hard to know where to start. It's not something I've chosen and if it were up to me, I'd be dating a lot. I don't think it's any secret that I am LDS and families and marriage are a large part of our religion. It's pretty stereotypical that people think every single, young, LDS person in Utah gets married before they're twenty. While this may have had more truth to it 10, 20, 30 years ago, it's not that way anymore. While it is true for some people, it is moving far away from that. Lately, I see more people of different religions who seriously date and are in substantial, progressing relationships and as far as I know, they don't have the same amount of encouragement and religious importance placed on it. But, religion aside, overall it's our entire culture that isn't dating. Recently an article came out stating that there are currently more single people in the US than married. Now, I must clarify and say that I'm not dying to get married tomorrow. Far from that actually. But it would be nice to have the occasional night out and get to know people. So what is stopping me from dating? 

It's all just a game 

Dating used to be about spotting the player and avoiding them. Now, the players are the majority and those who take it seriously, the rare and almost extinct, minority. Nobody is looking for a substantial relationship that stems deeper than the "let's maybe hang out sometime" and an occasional noncommittal, nonchalant "what's up" text message. You don't have to look very far to see that playing games is the new "norm". One word, Tinder. This so called "dating" app is in all honesty everything but. The newer version of Hot or Not encourages hook ups based off of a few pictures and a sentence or two about yourself. If you like what you see, swipe right. If not, swipe left. If you swipe right and it's a mutual match, it will pop up and notify you and do you know what it says? 

 - send Lee Mealone a message? 

Or 

- keep playing

Playing! Even Tinder acknowledges that dating is really nothing more than just a game. And you know who wins this game? The person who cares less. The person who plays the other person harder wins. The person who has no investment in anything wins. The person who is not looking for anything wins. The person who puts no feelings or effort in wins. The people who want to date, who want a relationship, who want to meet people, are those who are condemned in the "dating" world. 

No such thing as a date

I can't recall the last time I went on a "date". I could easily tell you the last time I "hung out" with someone I was interested in who was interested in me as well... But it wasn't a "date". He asked me to "hang out". Even though it had many components of a "date", one on one, one person paying, cuddling, hand holding, etc. but when it came time for a second "date" it was only a "want to hang out?"  

As I said earlier, marriage and families are at the center of the LDS religion and as a result it is often encouraged by the church leaders that twenty-somethings stop hanging out and actually date. I recently had a conversation with one of my friends after he went to a meeting where the single guys were encouraged to date. 

Me: how was conference? 

Him: I feel like I've been to better. but overall it was good. The single guys were called out and told to be social and date. 

Me: I'm glad. I feel like guys are too chicken to ask girls out and no one dates anymore. 

Him: I agree. But it's more fun to just hang out and not go out so to say. 

So there you have it. A twenty-something guy flat out admitting that he won't date. 

Apparently, hanging out requires less effort and guts and is the easy way out, which leads me to this...

No relationship = no break-up 

If you're not dating and are only "hanging out" it requires less involvement on your end, and apparently people hate involvement. If you're only hanging out, you're free to come and go as you please. Hang out with them one week, disappear for two and come and go as you please. Want a make-out or cuddle buddy? You have one on hand and when the night is over, you have no obligation to call them or text them tomorrow or the day after cause you're only "hanging out" with one another and not in a relationship or dating them. We have this attitude of people like the "chase" and playing hard to get and coming across as playing it cool or not caring is the best way to land that special someone.  And to those people who view it that way, I say look around, because it's obviously not working. People think that if there isn't a "break up" it will hurt less and it won't be as bad. But, doesn't it hurt just as much to have someone, who you're obviously interested in, randomly disappear and fall off the face of the planet without any sort of explanation? I stray from the majority when I say that I'd rather have a clear answer rather than some pathetic, gutless, complete cop out of a disappearance. 

Too many options 

There are so many people out there yet we choose to be lonely. There are thousands of people on tinder yet it almost encourages extreme pickiness. It is all based off of looks and basically disregards what really makes up a person.  What about personality, life experiences, ambitions, sense of humor? I think we have all met that one person who was no Adam Levine or Carrie Underwood but once we got to know them, they became more attractive as their personality began to show. 

Along the lines of too many options I can't help but think of something we talked about in one of my advertising/marketing classes. Take a shampoo company ... They have over 30 choices and types of shampoo to choose from. The consumer can stand in front of them for 10 minutes and still not know which one to pick or what will be best for them and as a result they walk away, empty handed, no shampoo. 

A world without dating 

I think it's clear that communication has drastically changed from times in the past. We "socialize" through Facebook, Instagram, and text messages. The actual face to face conversations are rare and are becoming more and more avoided. It's easier to say things through a text than to someone's face. There's not as much risk involved. It's easier to "like" someone's status or picture rather than have an actual conversation about what is going on in their life. Since when does a "like" qualify as a friendship? 

With actual human interaction dying down, the old idea of a courtship has died with it. Long gone are the days of actually asking people on dates and persuing them in a straight forward fashion without the chase and the games. I feel like to find these days we'd have to go back to the times of stage coaches and corsets. And unfortunately Back to the Future is only a movie. 

And that my friends, is why I don't date. 

Confessions of an Introvert

via

In a world where extroversion is highly valued I find myself a permanent introvert, and I'm okay with that. The word generally has a negative connotation associated with it but I can assure you that it's not always a bad thing. I would say I have been an introvert my entire life and it makes up part of who I am so here they are... my confessions of being an introvert. 

1. If a store is excessively crowded I usually leave no matter how bad I wanted whatever I was there for. Black Friday shopping is especially not my thing. 

2. I love being by myself. I cherish each and every second of my alone time. 

3. Small talk isn't just small talk for me. It's an extremely stressful and anxiety filled situation and my brain basically stops functioning. 

4.  I struggle with being social at school. When I go to school it's basically sit down, take notes, and leave as fast as I can. 

5. I like meeting new people as long as they approach me first.

6. I hate making phone calls, especially if I don't know the person on the other end. I don't really like talking on the phone in general unless I'm in a specific mood. I think texting is usually sufficient but of course there are exceptions to this. 

7. I need downtime to recover after big outings or events so you might not see me for a few days. I'll be around, just not social. 

8. The perfect weekend night is Netflix binging with maybe 1 or 2 other people. I can't even imagine the anxiety attack that would end my world if you put me in a club or serious party scene. 

9. Parties scare me and I dreaded dances in high school more than I care to admit. I didn't go to one girls choice dance. 

10. I'm generally happy even if I don't look like it. That look of my face is me in deep thought and over analyzing everything. That's just me in my own little world. 

11. I may not like talking to every person I see, but I can people watch till the cows come home. Take me to the park and I'll be content watching people stroll by. People are just so fascinating to me. From afar that is. 

12. I get attached to people. I don't open up easily to many people so when I do, I trust that they really care about me and I want them around. 

13. I would rather clean toilets than participate in small group discussions/projects in classes. 

Well there you have it, some more insight into my weird quirks that make me Kylie. Now someone do me a favor and write a "Confessions of an Extrovert" post so I can understand that side a little. ;)