What I Learned at the 2013 Holy War

Disclaimer: if you're a Y fan, you probably shouldn't read this because this post just "isn't fair". Or you can read it and complain after. The choice is yours. 

If you've ever been to Utah you know that there is a massive rivalry between us Utah Utes and those so called Cougars aka the "Team Down South". This year was a big deal because it will be the last rivalry game for 3 years. That means the winner will be entitled to massive bragging rights. I was lucky enough to go to the game but unfortunately it was on their turf. I mean grass. So, while I was down in Provo, I learned a thing or two...

  • First and foremost would definitely be that this war is no where near holy. 
  • Nothing is fair. 
  • "Defense" is too long of a word. We must say "D". "Let's go D" "We got this D" ... because you know, 2 syllables is way too much to handle.
  • Caffeine is not allowed within 3 square miles of BYU. We wouldn't want to make our student section too loud and exciting. 
  • Nothing is fair.

  • The Y "fans" have no clue what the words to their fight song are. 
  • Dropping the F-bomb is a-okay at a school that prides themselves on their "high" standards. Y fans will defend each other when throwing this word around. But, if this happens at the U it's totally unacceptable. Even though our school has no such "honor" code that we should be representing. Oh by the way... Where was Hadley tonight? 
  • The Ute fans will always be classless. The Y is always super classy. 

It's okay Max, we hate you too. 

Can we all just admit that when it comes to this "holy" war there is no class present anywhere. 

  • The fact that we are part of the Pac 12 really pisses off every Y fan. Even though they can't tell you why. 
  • Nothing is fair.
  • The BYU student section is pitiful... easily 3 times larger than the MUSS and about 30 times quieter.
  • The guy behind me wants to know where in the scriptures it says you can't say the F-word. 
  • Bitter is an understatement 
  • The refs are so unfair, unless of course they rule in BYU's favor, then they're suddenly amazing. 
  • The U is paying the refs under the table to rule in our favor. Yup, 20 grand each time. 
  • Nothing is fair.
This was seen multiple times throughout the game. It just wasn't fair. 
  • The fact that the score board accidentally got messed up when resetting the clock and showed the Utes had 6 more points than we really did, is our fault. Even though it was at their stadium and they had control of the score board. It's all the Utes' fault.

  • The MUSS alone can be louder than the whole BYU stadium combined. Sad but true. 
  • Y fans are total whiners. If something doesn't go their way it is nothing but complaining and excuses. Man up. We do... we got a penalty for illegal substitution... dang it, we screwed up, let's move on with the game. 
  • It is only the Ute fans who are rude. The Y fans can do no wrong. 

And oh yeah, did I mention that nothing is fair? 


A Weekend At Winnipesaukee

The fact that JT and Jimmy Fallon were born in the same century, have the biggest bromance in the history of bromances, and are able to provide humanity with hours of laughter is basically the most astounding thing this world has seen in the past thousand years. 

For your weekend viewing pleasure. Because they're too good not to watch. 

If you don't think these are funny, you must go to the E.R. immediately. Your funny bone is broken. 
Now, go do some camping this weekend! 
P.S. Does anyone else think they should make some fashionable t-shirts that say Camp Winnipesaukee on them? I mean, I'd buy one. 


A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

Pepsi or Coke: I'm a diet coke kind of girl through and through

TV or Movies: TV... Teen Mom, Dance Moms, The Bachelor, Shark Tank, Friends, Dr. Phil, Catfish... yeah definitely TV. (Can you tell I watch some quality TV shows? They're all pathetic and I love them all!)

Books or Magazines: Magazines.

Tattoos or Piercings: Piercings. Because this was just too funny... I'm a horrible person. Good thing I already went to hell this summer.

Morning or Night: I'd like to say morning but I'm basically an insomniac so I feel I'm forced to say night. Nights are more exciting anyways... crazy stuff just doesn't happen early in the morning.

Life or Death: uh... life. Is that really a question?

Bicycle or Motorcycle: Have you seen my bike? Definitely bike.

Run or Walk: Haha.. me? Run? Unless it's for a short line on Indiana Jones at Disneyland, you can count me out on running.

Long or short nails: SHORT!!! I guess everything about me has to be short. I can't stand long nails. I think they look gross. I take biotin everyday for my hair... the only downside is it makes your nails grow too. My nails grow faster than bamboo and I end up cutting/filing them at least twice a week.

Clean or Dirty: Clean. Definitely. I keep my house spic and span. There are never dishes left on my stove or in my sink. Everything is taken care of ASAP. It's hard for me to leave, even to school, if my room is chaotic or my house a mess. A clutter free house = a clutter free mind.

Cats or Dogs: Both. I have a cat who thinks she's a dog. Side story... I went to my parents the other day and she was meowing as I came up the garage steps. She was sitting right inside the door. My mom said she was in the family room with her, got up and left, and started meowing like crazy. Less than 30 seconds later I walked in the door. My cat has super senses.

She covers her eyes if she's sleeping where theres a light on.
iPhone or Droid: iPhone, always. I don't understand the droid thing... it seems more complicated and when it comes to technology, I'm all about simplicity.

N'Sync or Backstreet Boys: N'Sync. JT. 'nough said.

Blue or Green eyes: Green. I love having green eyes. They're more uncommon than blue and brown and I love being different.

Delete Facebook or Twitter: I got rid of my Facebook once, I could do it again.

Ferris Wheel or Roller Coaster: Roller Coaster. Ferris wheels are nice to look at but scare the living daylights outta me.

Cafe Rio or Chipotle: Believe it or not, it depends on the day. I love Chipotle's chips and tacos, but nothing beats a Cafe Rio sweet pork salad... sans guacamole. Yuck.

Full House or Family Matters: To ask such a question? How rude! FULL HOUSE FOR THE WIN!

Shark Week or Fashion Week: I love me some fashion but definitely Shark Week... it's on Netflix!!!

Dying Easter Eggs or Carving Pumpkins: I excel at both. But I like dying easter eggs, it involves less guts.

and just for the halibut since the big rivalry game is this weekend... 

BYU or Utah: A Utah Man Am I! Utes all the way! Forever and always. 

Well Blogees... as of 12pm today my weekend begins. This weekend has some radical plans. 
Unfortunately, I have to squeeze a lot of studying in-between the fun stuff. Welcome to senior year of college. It still sounds so weird to say that. Senior. In college. 

Peace out! Happy Weekend! 


Doomsday Trailer Races

Redneck: [red-nek] noun. "The glorious absence of sophistication." 

Labor Day. West Valley, Utah. 
My family debated and debated how we should spend our glorious day off. Golfing? Nah. Movie? No. Hiking? Maybe. Swimming? Possible. 
But nah, those were too normal, too "East Side" if you will. So what did we decide? 
We decided to hit up the hippest thing in West Valley.
 Rocky Mountain Raceway. 
The event title? "Doomsday of Destruction" 
If that doesn't sound serious I don't know what does. 

The main event was "Trailer Races" -- let me explain. Each driver has a vehicle pulling a trailer. They must "race" in a figure 8 pattern. And if anything is in your way, you simply pulverize it by driving full force at it. It is basically a demolition derby on steroids. 

Don't know what a demolition derby is? You're missing out! 
Let's let Urban Dictionary help us out... 
1) When a bunch of rednecks ram each other to death.
2) A bunch of hicks slamming into each other in a small county to show their honeys they're tough. 
3) A bunch of poor white trash who can't sell their cars for squat so they enter them in to try to win a cash prize and lose more of their brain cells than they already barely have. 

Now the definition from dictionary.com yes, there is a formal definition. 
1) A contest in which drivers deliberately and repeatedly crash old cars into each other, on a racetrack or in an enclosed area, with the winer being the last vehicle still moving after all others have been disabled. 

My favorite words used here? Deliberately and disabled. 

A typical demolition derby. 
Enough rambling. Let's get to the evidence of our redneck night (because as we all know in Blog Land... If you don't have pictures... it didn't happen. And because really? A post without pictures is a rambling that no one cares to read. Put that ludicrousness in your diary and lock it up where it belongs.) 


You might be a redneck if you've totaled every car you own.

You might be a redneck if the taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.

You might be a redneck if people hear your car a long time before they can see it.

You might be a redneck if you go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
(Did I mention there was stock car racing before this trailer nonsense?)

You might be a redneck if the primary color of your car is Bondo.

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

You might be a redneck if you've spent more money and time on your pickup truck than your education.

You might be a redneck if your mom gives you tips on how to sneak beer into a sports event.

You might be a redneck if you think that the last words of The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines!"

Boom Baby! It ain't over till the rednecks are tired!