Wednesday's Wish List

Jumpin' on the bandwagon with a Wednesday Wishlist. 
Even though Wednesday is almost over... it's never too late, right? 

1/  This scarf. I love it. It's way more than I would ever spend on a scarf and so in the not too distant future I'm going to attempt to make my own. 

2/ Naked 3 Palette - I have the 2 and love it. This one has more blush colors. It looks awesome. It hasn't even come out yet. 

3/ I'm So Tired. Yes, please. This is their Black Friday special and I so want it. I would totally love it and I mean it's even in gold! 

4/ Free People socks. I just think they're adorable. 

5/ A fur vest. I've looked everywhere and I can't find one that is exactly what I want. So I'll admire from afar. 

6/ Camp Brand patch. I would so love to put this on a beanie! 

7/ Tassel garland. I'd love to put this in my office. 

8/ and last but definitely not least... I have a burning desire to own a hat just like Kevin McCallister's and I would totally rock it. 

Hope you all have a very happy Thanksgiving. Wear your fat pants! 


A Confession Session!

- I dislike Snapchat. I just don't understand it. I don't mind getting them but I just don't send them very often at all. Isn't it just texting and picture messaging in an app?

- I have a new appreciation for balloons. Especially this one...

- I was way too excited for Daughtry's new album thanks to the song "Waiting for Superman". Perk of living in the west? Albums hit iTunes at 10 pm my time... Midnight back east. That's like a whole day earlier in my book!

- My car desperately desperately needs to be cleaned. Like bad. But I don't see the point when it rains every other day.

- I hate admitting this, hate it, but I like Miley's new wrecking ball song. Hence why this is s confession. Someone smack me. Puh-lease!

- I usually am one of those sticklers who is against all things Christmas until after thanksgiving, but this year that has gone straight out the window. I blame my number 4 preset that started playing Christmas music at the beginning of November.

- I'll admit it. I teared up when I watched this. It's less than 3 minutes long.

- I've been having some serious excruciating back pain since the beginning of this month. I tried to ignore it and let it go because I was more concerned about my dad. After multiple trips to the chiropractor and no relief I ended up at a back specialist. I have a torn disc. Ouch. I got a steroid shot in my butt and the doctor basically told me to not to go to my classes. Too bad that's more unrealistic than living on the moon.

- I've had 2 Slurpees in less than 24 hours. Yikes. Sugar central. Talk about diabetes in a cup.

- I have to read 100 pages in the next day and a half. I'm pretty sure my 7 year old nephew reads faster than me. 

-I like when guys use smiley faces in their text.

Happy almost weekend! 


Things I've Learned After 10+ Days at the Hospital

    Well, after a week and a half at the hospital my dad is finally home! I'm happy he's all safe and sound.    
                      He still has a little ways to go before he's completely better but he'll get there. 

When you spend that much time at the hospital you learn a few things. 
  •     The chairs are uncomfortable.
  •         The blankets are the equivalent of sandpaper.
  •         If something isn’t beeping in the room at least every ten minutes, the world probably ended.

  •         If you get to park within a half mile of the hospital you got lucky.
  •         The “small” ice cream in the cafeteria is larger than a pint of good ol’ Ben & Jerry’s.
  •         Ten laps around the floor equals a mile.
  •         37.7 degrees celsius = 99.8 degrees fahrenheit.
  •         The elevators are basically a clown car. You think it’s full and then 10 more people pile in.
  •         Nightly entertainment includes what I’m assuming is something like the nurse version of the changing of the guards and watching the Jazz keep up that awesome losing streak.
  •         They do what Buddy the Elf refers to as a “finger prick” every 2 hours to find out his blood sugar level.
  •         The cute x-ray tech, David, is single and about 27-28.
  •         The free internet is extremely slow. If I get to see 10 pins in an hour, I’m gettin’ lucky.
  •         There is no level 3 or 13 in the patient tower. 3s = death.

  •         Puffy eyes are the norm.
  •         If you go to the cafeteria around lunchtime it’s what we like to call combat dining.
  •         The hospital is busier on weekends.
  •         I can see my brother’s house from the room we’re in.
  •         The minutes here are even longer than a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
  •         “You’ll be going home tomorrow” means nothing.
  •         The “sips and chips” diet translates directly to prescribed anorexia.
  •         “Code Trauma: Alert 1” means somebody is bleeding to death and the surgeon needs to meet them at the door with the operating table.
  •         There’s no such thing as TMI.
  •         Dad can score us anything they have available on the floor… water, soda, Italian ices. I’m sure they’d even bring us some broth if we asked.
  •         When all else fails, call 33333.  

goin' home! 


A Post About Everything and Nothing

If you're looking for a funny or entertaining post, this isn't it. I don't even know where to begin and all I can do is just let my fingers run on this keyboard. There won't be any formal thought process behind this and I doubt I will proofread it. I don't have the energy.

A week ago if you asked me what I thought my life would be like right now I would have told you the EXACT opposite. It started a week ago. Sunday night he got really sick. It came on in the blink of an eye. We thought it was just a really bad stomach flu. An emergency room and 7 days in the hospital later, here we are.

It's a constant roller coaster. He makes progress and then hours later it's back to where it all began. It's so hard to watch your dad, the one who is always healthy, always the strong one, never in screaming pain, lay there and be that miserable. I sit there all day and feel so helpless. I wish I could just take the pain away from him and suffer for him. It's frustrating that the doctors don't know what to do exactly. It's frustrating that I don't even understand what's going on and if you asked me what was exactly wrong, I couldn't tell you. All I know is that he's laid there for a week in pain with no relief and it's not fair. He is the person who least deserves it. He is so selfless all the time and it's not fair that he has to go through this. It's so hard to see him so weak because he hasn't had any form of nutrients in more than a week.

My dad's friend, Bruce, that we know from karting always said something that stuck in my mind. I thought about it again a week or two ago and was actually going to write a blog post about it. But I'm no good at blogging lately and so that quickly got pushed out of the picture. He said "I always thank the Lord everyday for my health, because if you don't have your health you have nothing." This quote is so true and so scary all at the same time. If you don't have your health all you can do is lay there and wait to get better and pray the minutes go faster. I know that ever since hearing him say this I have a new found appreciation for my health. It also breaks my heart at the same time because I can't help my dad get better. He lays there day in and day out and is such a trooper about it all. He is so kind and so polite to the nurses when they poke and prod him every ten minutes. I would be yelling and screaming and demanding they do this and that. He is so patient and handles everything so well. He has such amazing faith and says that it's just a trial and he's going to endure it well, which he does.

He's been at the hospital for a week and I don't know how he isn't going crazy. I know that he is to some extent but he also knows it's the only choice he's got at the current moment. The hospital is such an interesting place. It can be such a happy and exciting environment and sad and depressing the next. The days seem much longer and much shorter all at the same time. I spent 11 hours there today and it felt like maybe five or six. It is an emotionally exhausting and draining place and I don't know how people do it.

I have watched the rooms around my dad's fill up and empty out many times. The room next door has had 2 people in it come and gone. The next room down is now empty again. The people we see walking in the halls constantly change. And if we see the same people it's the cleaning people or the CNAs.

If this all wasn't enough, my jackass of an ex-boyfriend decided to grace me with his presence convincing me that a year and a half later we should try again. I, being the naive idiot that I am, decided sure, why not? Well, I wish I could say I was surprised but he hasn't changed at all and it was a waste of my time and additional emotional stress that I didn't need. He's too much of a wimp to say or do anything and that left me prying at him to finally be a man and admit that this was a joke. Ending it was a huge weight off my shoulders but it left me full of so much anger that unfortunately lasted all day.

I hate how my attitude has been and I try to change it but I just feel like I physically and mentally can't. I have never had this mix of emotions before and it's different and I don't exactly know how to handle it. I'm angry and have feelings of hatred because of people like him, I'm upset and frustrated because I can't do anything with my dad, I'm emotionally unstable because of the circumstances and the lack of sleep, I'm grateful because of all those who have been there and shown their love for my dad and our family. It's just such an array of feelings that I want to scream one minute and then ball my eyes out the next. You think with how expensive hospital stays are these days that they could afford some softer and better quality tissues.

I know it's said that trials are only a moment in our lives but while I'm just rambling about how I'm feeling lately I feel like ever since 8th grade my life has been an uphill battle. I just wish I could change things or at least gain some understanding. Thank you all for your prayers for my dad and my family. We recognize it and appreciate it so much. I love you all more than you'll ever know.

Sunset from my dad's room.