I've basically been anywhere but here lately. I'll try to explain all that another day. But for now I thought this was too funny to not talk about. So, in case you missed it, we made a landing on a comet. Of course this was super cool but what would this world be without bringing something like this up on social media? With the news of the landing came a hashtag on twitter.
Some of them were pretty great... These are my favorite...
There are many reasons that I don't date, which makes it kind of hard to know where to start. It's not something I've chosen and if it were up to me, I'd be dating a lot. I don't think it's any secret that I am LDS and families and marriage are a large part of our religion. It's pretty stereotypical that people think every single, young, LDS person in Utah gets married before they're twenty. While this may have had more truth to it 10, 20, 30 years ago, it's not that way anymore. While it is true for some people, it is moving far away from that. Lately, I see more people of different religions who seriously date and are in substantial, progressing relationships and as far as I know, they don't have the same amount of encouragement and religious importance placed on it. But, religion aside, overall it's our entire culture that isn't dating. Recently an article came out stating that there are currently more single people in the US than married. Now, I must clarify and say that I'm not dying to get married tomorrow. Far from that actually. But it would be nice to have the occasional night out and get to know people. So what is stopping me from dating?
It's all just a game
Dating used to be about spotting the player and avoiding them. Now, the players are the majority and those who take it seriously, the rare and almost extinct, minority. Nobody is looking for a substantial relationship that stems deeper than the "let's maybe hang out sometime" and an occasional noncommittal, nonchalant "what's up" text message. You don't have to look very far to see that playing games is the new "norm". One word, Tinder. This so called "dating" app is in all honesty everything but. The newer version of Hot or Not encourages hook ups based off of a few pictures and a sentence or two about yourself. If you like what you see, swipe right. If not, swipe left. If you swipe right and it's a mutual match, it will pop up and notify you and do you know what it says?
- send Lee Mealone a message?
- keep playing
Playing! Even Tinder acknowledges that dating is really nothing more than just a game. And you know who wins this game? The person who cares less. The person who plays the other person harder wins. The person who has no investment in anything wins. The person who is not looking for anything wins. The person who puts no feelings or effort in wins. The people who want to date, who want a relationship, who want to meet people, are those who are condemned in the "dating" world.
No such thing as a date
I can't recall the last time I went on a "date". I could easily tell you the last time I "hung out" with someone I was interested in who was interested in me as well... But it wasn't a "date". He asked me to "hang out". Even though it had many components of a "date", one on one, one person paying, cuddling, hand holding, etc. but when it came time for a second "date" it was only a "want to hang out?"
As I said earlier, marriage and families are at the center of the LDS religion and as a result it is often encouraged by the church leaders that twenty-somethings stop hanging out and actually date. I recently had a conversation with one of my friends after he went to a meeting where the single guys were encouraged to date.
Me: how was conference?
Him: I feel like I've been to better. but overall it was good. The single guys were called out and told to be social and date.
Me: I'm glad. I feel like guys are too chicken to ask girls out and no one dates anymore.
Him: I agree. But it's more fun to just hang out and not go out so to say.
So there you have it. A twenty-something guy flat out admitting that he won't date.
Apparently, hanging out requires less effort and guts and is the easy way out, which leads me to this...
No relationship = no break-up
If you're not dating and are only "hanging out" it requires less involvement on your end, and apparently people hate involvement. If you're only hanging out, you're free to come and go as you please. Hang out with them one week, disappear for two and come and go as you please. Want a make-out or cuddle buddy? You have one on hand and when the night is over, you have no obligation to call them or text them tomorrow or the day after cause you're only "hanging out" with one another and not in a relationship or dating them. We have this attitude of people like the "chase" and playing hard to get and coming across as playing it cool or not caring is the best way to land that special someone. And to those people who view it that way, I say look around, because it's obviously not working. People think that if there isn't a "break up" it will hurt less and it won't be as bad. But, doesn't it hurt just as much to have someone, who you're obviously interested in, randomly disappear and fall off the face of the planet without any sort of explanation? I stray from the majority when I say that I'd rather have a clear answer rather than some pathetic, gutless, complete cop out of a disappearance.
Too many options
There are so many people out there yet we choose to be lonely. There are thousands of people on tinder yet it almost encourages extreme pickiness. It is all based off of looks and basically disregards what really makes up a person. What about personality, life experiences, ambitions, sense of humor? I think we have all met that one person who was no Adam Levine or Carrie Underwood but once we got to know them, they became more attractive as their personality began to show.
Along the lines of too many options I can't help but think of something we talked about in one of my advertising/marketing classes. Take a shampoo company ... They have over 30 choices and types of shampoo to choose from. The consumer can stand in front of them for 10 minutes and still not know which one to pick or what will be best for them and as a result they walk away, empty handed, no shampoo.
A world without dating
I think it's clear that communication has drastically changed from times in the past. We "socialize" through Facebook, Instagram, and text messages. The actual face to face conversations are rare and are becoming more and more avoided. It's easier to say things through a text than to someone's face. There's not as much risk involved. It's easier to "like" someone's status or picture rather than have an actual conversation about what is going on in their life. Since when does a "like" qualify as a friendship?
With actual human interaction dying down, the old idea of a courtship has died with it. Long gone are the days of actually asking people on dates and persuing them in a straight forward fashion without the chase and the games. I feel like to find these days we'd have to go back to the times of stage coaches and corsets. And unfortunately Back to the Future is only a movie.
In a world where extroversion is highly valued I find myself a permanent introvert, and I'm okay with that. The word generally has a negative connotation associated with it but I can assure you that it's not always a bad thing. I would say I have been an introvert my entire life and it makes up part of who I am so here they are... my confessions of being an introvert.
1. If a store is excessively crowded I usually leave no matter how bad I wanted whatever I was there for. Black Friday shopping is especially not my thing.
2. I love being by myself. I cherish each and every second of my alone time.
3. Small talk isn't just small talk for me. It's an extremely stressful and anxiety filled situation and my brain basically stops functioning.
4. I struggle with being social at school. When I go to school it's basically sit down, take notes, and leave as fast as I can.
5. I like meeting new people as long as they approach me first.
6. I hate making phone calls, especially if I don't know the person on the other end. I don't really like talking on the phone in general unless I'm in a specific mood. I think texting is usually sufficient but of course there are exceptions to this.
7. I need downtime to recover after big outings or events so you might not see me for a few days. I'll be around, just not social.
8. The perfect weekend night is Netflix binging with maybe 1 or 2 other people. I can't even imagine the anxiety attack that would end my world if you put me in a club or serious party scene.
9. Parties scare me and I dreaded dances in high school more than I care to admit. I didn't go to one girls choice dance.
10. I'm generally happy even if I don't look like it. That look of my face is me in deep thought and over analyzing everything. That's just me in my own little world.
11. I may not like talking to every person I see, but I can people watch till the cows come home. Take me to the park and I'll be content watching people stroll by. People are just so fascinating to me. From afar that is.
12. I get attached to people. I don't open up easily to many people so when I do, I trust that they really care about me and I want them around.
13. I would rather clean toilets than participate in small group discussions/projects in classes.
Well there you have it, some more insight into my weird quirks that make me Kylie. Now someone do me a favor and write a "Confessions of an Extrovert" post so I can understand that side a little. ;)
Since my blogging has been SO regular and consistent this past summer I figured a monthly blogging challenge would be the perfect way to jump back into my blogging life that I really do love but just manages to be the first thing shoved aside. So here we go, Blogtember!
I am currently...
Watching --- Psych. Can't say I hate it. Can't say I love it.
Reading --- a 30 page article about how missing person posters should not have been put up after
September, 11th because they "haunted" people and it was avoiding the reality that they "weren't coming home." .... I hate school.
Listening to --- Girls Chase Boys "All the broken hearts in the world still beat... You play me, now I play you too, let's just call it over." AHH I love it... such a good song!
Eating --- Nothing. Dinner is the next thing on my to do list. And Rumbi sounds freaking divine!
Pinning -- Anything fashion related. I'm on a fashion/clothing kick lately. What else is new?
Missing --- Boating. And hockey.
Wearing --- Pajamas... and it's 7p.m. on a Saturday. Dang homework! I guess that also means Rumbi won't be happening.
Drinking --- Water.
Dreading --- Monday.
Needing --- a new pillow. These 4 dollar ones from Target just aren't cutting it anymore ha. But, I'm too cheap to spend 80 bucks on a freaken pillow.
Craving --- Shopping.
and with that said
This is sold out everywhere basically. I have the pants that match and I just have to have the coordinating jacket, right?
I myself am not a BYU fan and I never will be. However, I know there are BYU fans that do read my blog occasionally and before I throw all this out there I guess I should start by saying I'm not pinning this on the school in anyway. Yes, I don't like BYU. But it wasn't BYU who did this, it was a person. More specifically Max Hall. For those who don't know who he is he was one of the best quarter backs BYU has seen and I'll admit, he was pretty dang impressive. The problem I have with him stemmed from this here video....
Yes. Us Utes are classless. Totally classless and he hates us all.
Again, I will say I am not pinning his comments on the Y. I won't base my judgement on the whole school based on one person. I personally wish Max would have done this and thought it through before he said these things. It wasn't the University of Utah who dumped beer on his family. It was immature people who were being stupid and did a really rude and disrespectful thing. There are disrespectful people everywhere and you can find them at any sporting event regardless of which team they are fans of. Last year I went to the Y for the rivalry game and I'll tell you, I had people heckle me just as much as the Y fans are heckled. F-bombs and all. It's a two way street.
I don't think he thought these comments through and I'm sure he just said them in the heat of the moment but he still referred to anyone even associated with the University of Utah as classless and proclaimed that he hated us all. That's fine. To each their own.
After that he got a ton of crap from the Ute fans because well, we're classless.
Well, Tuesday the news broke that Mr. Classy himself, Max Hall, was arrested in Arizona for what appeared to be shop lifting and when they were searching him found cocaine, needles, a metal spoon, and a lighter.
When I heard this, my first instinct was to laugh. I mean, he was even wearing a BYU t-shirt in his mug shot, was he not? The jokes that could come from this were endless. Karma, right?
That was what I thought for the first few minutes after reading the story. It wasn't long after that that I genuinely felt so heartbroken for him. Thanks to Amazon Prime, I've watched my fair share of the show Intervention, especially lately. To watch and see how wrapped up in drugs people get just makes me sick to my stomach and at the end of every episode the only thing I want to see is that they stayed sober and didn't revert back to their old ways. There's no proof that Max was actually doing drugs, but again from watching Intervention people shoplift all the time as a way to pay for their addiction and the stuff he had in his bag was pretty obviously drug related. In his mug shot he even appeared to be a little loopy. In fact, the longer you look at it the more sad the whole situation becomes. I mean this guy has a career, a wife, and two kids. It's sad that whatever he's going through made him turn to drugs. And now, he has to face the public and the endless comments that are pouring his way. It's scary to think that professional sports play such a large role in addiction and to see just how many professional athletes, current and former, get sucked into the world of addiction. It is such a sad thing to me and I personally wish they would be more concerned about it and do more to prevent it.
I am a die hard Utah fan and I always will be but I genuinely hope he can get his stuff together and get the help he needs for his family's sake.
Well look who finally made it back to her blog. Nice of me to show up, right? To say this summer has been crazy and hectic is an understatement. I think this is the first time in weeks that I have been home longer than 3 days.
Anyways, we all know that The Bachelor/Bachelorette is a regular topic on this here blog so I figured why not acknowledge all the wonderful things it has taught us through the many seasons. Here we go...
16. Always bring your grandma on your first date
15. Facial impressions are crucial
14. Always be yourself
even if that means wearing a mask the whole time, or a tiara, or being naked, or having vampire fangs
13. Saying "stahhhp" is a flirty way to say don't stop
12. When in doubt cry. Always be in doubt.
11. The most hated girl will always win
10. When it doesn't work out, keep coming back
9. It is acceptable to get engaged after 4 weeks of non-exclusive dating
8. If you can't be their favorite one, be the crazy one.
7. Never show up empty handed
6. Repeatedly saying it's okay, will in fact make everything okay
5. First impressions are crucial
4. Always expose your troubling memories, life experiences, and your past 7 divorces on the first date