Thank You, Tinder

I'm sure by now you have all heard of a little app called Tinder. It's basically a newer improved version of "hot or not". Swipe right if you're interested, swipe left if you're not. It's basically all based off of looks and the other person's picture. I'm guilty of using this app, even though it immediately got deleted after it provided me with this gem of a guy. It was back in December. We started talking and I agreed to a date. He seemed normal. Key word being seemed. We had plans to go to dinner and a movie. Even though I'm not a fan of a movie on a first date I decided I had nothing to lose.

This date happened to fall on the biggest snow storm we had had all year. We're talking snowing for hours, 6 inches on the roads, you probably shouldn't go anywhere cause you'll probably die, snow storm. He picked me up and we headed to dinner. I'll be honest, it was one of those dates that was awkward from start to finish. The whole thing was pretty much doomed from the start. We got to dinner and he wasn't super talkative. He wasn't completely quiet but quiet enough that I had to continually come up with conversation topics to the point that it was anything but a naturally flowing conversation. We ordered and it wasn't less than 2 minutes later I looked over and saw my aunt, uncle, and cousins across the restaurant. I was actually relieved to see them because it gave me a slight distraction from the impending awkwardness at my table. We got our food and he barely ate any of his sandwich. We're talking he maybe took two bites and I'm sorry but if you're going to put an Applebee's oriental chicken salad in front of this girl, girl's gonna eat. He basically sat there and just stared at me while I downed my salad. Normally, I would've been super self conscious and all but at this point I had kind of already realized that this date was just not happenin'. A few minutes later our waiter came over and told us that someone had paid for our dinner. It was obviously my uncle. My date didn't say two words about it. At. All. It kind of shocked me. We were getting ready to leave and he didn't want to take his practically untouched meal home with him (I'm a big believer in doggy bags haha) and he didn't even think about leaving a tip. I mentioned something about leaving a tip and he just kinda stared at me. I wasn't about to leave without acknowledging the decent service we got so I grabbed cash out of my wallet and left it on the table. End dinner scene. 

We got in the car and I figured we would be on our way to a movie. I asked him what movie we were going to and it was then that he informed me we'd actually just be going to his house to watch a movie (he still lived at home). I was in shock and didn't know what to say because when he asked me out he specifically said we would go see a movie in theaters. He lived across the valley from me which made for a scary drive in the snow and I was sure I was going to die. Part of me was wishing we'd get in a fender bender so that this date could end right then and there. That's how incredibly uncomfortable this date was. Little did I know how much more awkward it would get in the next half hour. 

We got to his parents house and we went into the TV room. His mom and dad were cuddled up on the couch watching the old school Rudolph movie. So what did we do until their movie was over? We stood in the room awkwardly. We're talking 15 minutes of just standing there hovering over his parents. I can't even express the level of awkward at this point in the night. 

Their movie finally got over and they got up and left the room. I asked him what movie we were going to watch and he told me he was super laid back and didn't care and that I should pick. I was trying to be nice and asked his opinion on movies while trying to pick one out. They had a stack of Christmas movies sitting there and I figured this was a good way to go. I instantly snatched them up, started flipping them over, and looking for that microscopic number that told me just how much longer I'd have to be there. Yes, I was basing my decision off of how many minutes the movies were. I was trying to decide quickly and chose How The Grinch Stole Christmas, the one with Jim Carrey. He looked at me and then informed me that, "well, I don't like that movie." So, I picked another Christmas movie. He proceeded to do that to all 3 movies I picked. I finally told him to decide. You know what he picked?  The Lake House.

 I can't make this stuff up guys. We started it and I sat on the furthest end of that couch that I possibly could. He sat on the complete opposite, which I was very grateful for. But by the end of the 99 minutes of his favorite Sandra Bullock flick he was a mere inch and a half away from me. Cringe. Luckily I had my coat thrown over my lap and my hands strategically tucked under it so he couldn't even try to hold my hand. 

As soon as the movie was over I had him take me home right away blaming it on the weather. We went to head out to the car and his mom was convinced that his dad should drive us because of the weather. I'm pretty sure at this point it would have been a better (and safer) option to walk home in the blizzard. He told his dad he was fine and we headed home... basically he was a pretty scary driver and we ended up a few inches away from the bumper of the car ahead of us on more than one occasion. Apparently he thought during a huge snow storm would be the opportune time to pretend he was a driver for The Fast and the Furious. We finally made it to my house and I was beyond grateful. Little did I know that this would not be the end of him. 

You see, what I perceived to be a horrendous and cringe worthy date he perceived as a perfect one and was convinced we hit it off and there would be more. I'm a firm believer in the fact that the two C's have to be there for anything to happen. Those being Chemistry and Compatibility. Those weren't there. At. All. 

In the dating world I'm used to, if you're not interested in someone the conversations end and there's not much communication, which is a pretty obvious sign that it just wasn't there. Normally the other person gets it and that's that. But that wasn't the case here. He would not leave me alone and would not stop trying to contact me. This went on for more than a month after our date and he hadn't heard one word from me after he dropped me off. I know that is kind of harsh but I didn't respond hoping he'd get the hint and to be honest I hate confrontation. 

(These are just the ones I grabbed screen shots of... There were a LOT more) 

 I got endless phone calls. Close to one a day. They weren't just missed calls either. They were always accompanied by 3 minute long voicemails. 

He wouldn't leave me alone on Facebook. And he used my name way too much when he tried to talk to me. Don't get me wrong. I like it when a guy uses my name, it usually means they're pretty interested in you. But there is also a point where this becomes creepy and in every single message he sent?

I got daily snapchat pictures from him. 

I got daily text messages. 

I unfriended him on Facebook in hopes that it would help. I wish I were exaggerating when I say he sent me a friend request two minutes later. 

It really got me that every time he talked to me he asked about "us". There is no US!!! There never has been, is, or will be. I'm sorry.

I finally couldn't take it anymore and he just kept contacting me more and more. I finally confronted him through a conversation on Facebook and I tried to be as nice as I possibly could be while still letting him know where I stood. This is how the conversation went 

Me: You didn't do anything, it's just not there for me. 

Him: Okay. What exactly does that even mean? 

Me: I'm not interested. I'm sorry

Him: Oh

twenty minutes later 

Him: Okay

thirteen minutes later 

Him: It fine

(yes, it. Not it's)

Me: Best of luck with everything 

Him: Thanks you too

hours later 

Him: are we still friends

two hours later 

Him: Well i guess this is goodbye then

The next day 

Him: Thanks for the fun date and it was nice knowing you the short period of time

Me: I'm sorry, don't be mad. I'm just trying to be honest with you. I didn't realize you'd be so invested.

Him: I'm not attached I'm just very sad that we aren't going to be friends. 

He said a few more things but I just ended it there.   

I had been on a few Tinder dates before this but after this date you can be sure that Tinder got deleted.

Sorry this post was a mile long... I debated about splitting it up into 2 but I figured I'd just throw it all out there. 

Here's some fun facts so you can get a better picture of this guy.... 
- He told me that he had a pet dog, two baby birds, a rabbit, a squirrel, and a pet fox. (no joke) 
- When he went on an LDS mission his companion full on ran away from him just to get away because he couldn't take it anymore. It took them 24 hours to find his companion. (and yes, he told me this on the first date)
- He works with something dealing with women's underwear
- He doesn't drive on the freeway

and oh yeah 
- He wants to be a PE teacher. 

What disastrous Tinder stories do you guys have? Cause I know I'm not the only one. 


I'm Offended That You're Offended

To put it simply, I'm pissed off. This world has gotten to be so ridiculous as of late that I just can't stand it quite honestly. There is always someone who is offended by something no matter how minuscule it may be. We tip toe around the world because we're afraid of offending somebody and we're constantly worried about being "politically correct" 

Why is it a crime if I wish someone a "Merry Christmas"? They are free to wish me a "Happy Hanukkah" even though I myself do not celebrate it. I won't be offended. The fact that they are making an effort and acknowledging others is great. The world needs more kind interaction like that. But instead we must wish each other strictly "Happy Holidays". 

 Now, let's get to the real reason that I have finally reached my breaking point in this overly emotional permanently offended world. 

Flash back to 1904... 110 years ago.

This song was written to be the University of Utah's fight song and I must say that I myself thoroughly enjoy it and feel that it fits our school perfectly. 

Enter Sam Ortiz. President of ASUU (Associated Students of the University of Utah) aka our student body president. He decided that after 110 years of tradition that our fight song became "sexist and racist" overnight. Now before I mention exactly what he feels is "racist and sexist" can I just ask what part you guys would assume is racist or sexist? I have heard and sung this song many many times so far in my college career and the terms racist and sexist have never crossed my mind when singing the lyrics. The line "I am a Utah MAN..." and "our coeds are the fairest" are what Sir Sammy feels is causing such a divide and tearing the entire university apart at the seams.
He feels that changing it to "I am a Utah FAN" would just make the entire university and student body hug all day long, skip to class holding hands, and sing Kumbaya while sitting in a circle in the middle of the Marriott Library and share our feelings about how changing the fight song is the reason behind world peace. Ew.

Since he feels so passionate about getting all the students involved with campus life he took the vote to a mere 46 people who are all on the student body board and felt that that would be a fair representation of the thousands of Ute fans around the state. If he truly cared why didn't he ask the alumni who donate thousands of dollars to the university and the past and current students? He might get an accurate vote that represents what everybody really thinks and see just how many people are truly "offended" by "I am a Utah Man"

It kills me to see a student body president of a university wasting time on such a stupid issue that will ultimately have no impact on the university itself. Why isn't he putting his effort into making the university a better place by doing things that will actually benefit the current and future students? Changing the words will not change much. All it is doing is messing with tradition and pissing people off. 

I am a girl, a woman, a female, and I sing that line, "I am a Utah man sir", with so much pride! 
In no way at all do I feel that it is being sexist. It is referring to man as in a person, an individual, a human being, a member of the human race. Not just strictly a male individual. There are also loads of other women who will agree with me and say that they do not find this offensive. 

There's a Facebook page now by the name of A Utah MAN Am I filled with tons of people who are against this change and think that it is ridiculous. Mr. Sammy Ortiz is also facing a huge backlash from his irrational request and I for one do not feel sorry for him at all. He deserves it. He is making mountains out of mole hills. 

Here are some of my favorite comments from the Facebook page:

- Sam Ortiz should be banned from all U of U events after the president of the U decides not to change the song. He probably rubs baby oil all over Cosmo on the weekends. 
(just to clarify, Cosmo is BYU's (our rival) mascot.)

- Hey Sammy Ortiz I know you read this and I hope you document everything I've said about you and the relationship you have with Cosmo. Do us all a favor and move to Utah County. 

- I think every building named after a man should be changed to Mr. & Mrs. No need for separate bathrooms anymore. Let us see what other songs we should change too. ..... Give me a break. 

- Soooooo who's making the "Utah Man" shirts for the next season????

- Does anyone know if Sammy Ortiz is graduating this year? If so, can all you graduating seniors boo the mess out of him when his name is called? Do us all a favor. 

- "I love the 'Utah Man' song," he said. " I hope it doesn't change. I don't know what it would be. 'I am a Utah person'? I don't know what the issue is, but there has got to be a better way to spend your time than worrying about the fight song. I think it is good as is, and I hope it stays." - Kyle Whittingham
Coach says to do something better with your time Sam Ortiz. Go on a romantic date with Cosmo. 

- Who am I sir... a gender neutral non offensive Utah life form am I... 

- Sam Ortiz spoons Cosmo between classes. 

- I'm a woman and... 

I thoroughly enjoy reading through the comments every day. Don't mess with us die hard Ute fans. We won't back down. 

The petition going around has raised a valid point that I could not agree more with, 
"we believe that anyone voting on potential changes to the U fight song should be required to prove that they actually know the lyrics by heart and have sung it in at least one U sporting event." 

There is a petition going around that you can find here if any of you agree with us true Ute fans who disagree with changing tradition. We've also had a good amount of students email our University President (President@Utah.edu) and heck someone even threw his personal phone number out there if you're interested (801) 581- 5701 

I'm very sorry to anyone who was offended by this post. But actually, not really. 

A Utah MAN am I!!!!!!


March Madness Say Wha?

Sorry I've been a little absent these past few days. I got knocked out with a massive cold. We're talking like a box of tissues a day, bottle of Nyquil ain't gonna do nothing, I'm going to die, cold. 

I don't know why I am so surprised by this. Without fail I get sick EVERY stinking finals week. And this stupid thing has held on for over a week now. I even had to miss a group presentation in one of my classes. I'm sure my group is lovin me for that. 

But anyways... back to the point. All these people be like MARCH MADNESS!!!! and I'm just over here sayin' WHA!?!? March Madness?
 Puhhhleassse. How about April, May, and June Madness! 

Shocker. I'm talking about hockey. Playoffs are officially in full swing. So while I'm over here sitting in bed with my box of tissues resembling old faithful, I get to enjoy hockey from about 5-10:45 every night. If I have to be sick I guess hockey is an acceptable distraction. 

And well, it can't be any kind of "madness" without a bracket, right? 

Here's mine. 

If there are ANY hockey fans out there or anybody who even cares a little about it, I'm absolutely DYING to know your thoughts and who you think will end up with the cup! 

Hope you're all feeling better than me. Now go down an entire bottle of Vitamin C so ya'll don't end up with this crap! 


A Confessional

If there's one thing I always enjoy around blog town it's a good ol' I confess sesh. 

Which is what you're getting here today and I hope you don't mind. 
I should warn you that I am pretty darn sick right about now. Why do I always get sick right before finals!?! Anyways, I'm on a lot of drugs currently. All legal of course haha but this is a fair warning that I might not be completely aware of what I'm writing in this here post. But hey what's that annoying over used term? Oh yeah, YOLO.

I confess...

I sat and drank a Diet Coke while reading an article entitled "7 Side Effects of Drinking Diet Soda"

I bought Divergent a couple weeks ago. I wanted to read it and then go see the movie. I got to about chapter 3 and haven't picked it up since. I have every intention of reading it so I'll just blame it on being "busy"

I did my laundry yesterday. My sweat pants, pajama shorts, sports bras, and baggy t-shirts far out numbered skinny jeans and cute tops.

I've gone through an entire large box of tissues in less than 24 hours.

I'm convinced this gluten allergy and all this "gluten free" stuff is strictly a fad. Isn't it amazing how thousands of people came down with it all within the same year? I know there are people who are really allergic to it but it's just too odd that all these people have it all of the sudden. But hey, if they like paying 6 bucks for 10 wafer cookies... more power to em!

Abby Lee Miller's eye make-up drives me absolutely crazy. And her accessorizing reminds me of how I used to dress in the 7th grade. Sometimes matchy matchy and loads of plastic jewelry just isn't the way to go.

I never ever ever ever drink regular soda. Except for today. I wasn't feeling good and had a can of sprite at my house so I decided I'd guzzle it down. I set it on the counter by my sink where my laptop was also sitting because let's be honest, I had to catch up on my Teen Mom and Dance Moms. Well, you see where this is going. I decided to load my dishwasher and during my not so swift movement of grabbing something out of the sink and moving it to the dish washer, I knocked my cup of sprite ALL OVER MY LAPTOP. I was so pissed at myself. I cleaned it up the best I could. Then I spent many many hours today popping off every single key and cleaning all the sticky sugar off. I'm not talking just the key, I'm talking everything underneath the key too. I felt like a computer nerd. My dad would've been proud that I could take part of my computer apart and put it back together successfully.  But my keyboard is still not back to normal. I'm pissed. I don't know why I have to rock at life so much.

And one last one...

I think Kevin Bacon is attractive.
He's older than my dad.
I'm going to go barf now.


Everyone Loves Free Money

I'm excited to be a part of the giveaway over at The Life Of Bon this month! 
Let's be honest.. who wouldn't want to get handed an awesome wad of cash like this?
It's super easy so be sure to enter! 

Winner will be chosen on Thursday, April 24, 2014.  All entries will be verified.  International readers may enter conditional upon having a Paypal account with which to receive the winnings.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

A Candy Free Easter

Let's be honest, who doesn't love walking down that colorful Easter isle full of diabetes? I mean Peeps in every color, chocolate bunnies, Cadburry eggs, easter egg dying kits, and Reeses peanut butter eggs (is it just me or do Reeses always taste better in egg form?). 
I love it and I have the hardest time avoiding it. And it's always so conveniently located in the smack dab center of the store as close to the front as possible, which makes it even harder to ignore than that attractive cashier on lane 4, that Diet Coke fresh out of the cooler and the latest issue of US Weekly at the check stand. 

So with that said I thought we could all use a little candy free easter basket goodie inspiration
Here are some of my favs. 

Okay, can we please just talk about that bag!?! I'm absolutely loving it and that color is just amazing. Of course I'm partial to yellow. And those Nikes are awesome colors. 

What other candy free easter basket ideas do you guys have? 

Happy Tuesday ya'll! 


When Jimmy Fallon Stopped By

My parents tend to travel a lot. Which means I'm the man woman of the house when they're gone. Which means I have ample opportunities to mess with them and their stuff.

One time it involved 118 googly eyes.

This time when they were gone, my friend had so conveniently talked me into staying up ALL night to watch the Harry Potter movies consecutively. Still don't know how I fell for that one. That was interesting. So we spent some time brainstorming about what to do while my parents were off on their own adventure. I ended up cutting out a mass amount of Jimmy Fallons as we watched the movies.

(I tried to find the creepiest Jimmy faces I could but this is what I ended up with)

The next day I went to their house and put them in every single window. When all the windows were filled up and I had left over Jimmys I started putting them around the house. 

And I didn't realize how awful these pictures were until putting them on this here blog. Sorry ya'll. 

They got home at night which was perfect because all the blinds were closed and they wouldn't even see the ones in the windows till the next day. 

The best thing about it all was the fact that my mom "counted" and thought there were more than there actually was. 

So basically, if you ever need any prank ideas, hit me up. I got your back. 


The Difference Between Men and Women

Being single means dating. Dating means lots of over thinking. Over thinking means unnecessary stress. At least this is the trend in my life. I don't know about the rest of all you single folk. Whenever a new guy comes into my life the wheels start turning and the over analyzing begins. At least thats my usual M.O. Lately my poor sister has caught the brunt of my over thinking. I seriously call her at least once a day demanding her opinion and advice on EVERYTHING. Thank heavens she is super patient! 

This basically sums up our relationship. 

I was on my way to school yesterday when she texted me a link to an article. Basically this article is dead on and has eased my mind. At least for the next 24 hours and then I'm sure I'll be back to my over analyzing ways. 

If you're anything like me, I promise you it's worth the read! 

Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Fred," Martha says aloud.

"What?" says Fred, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Fred.

"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Fred.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.

"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Fred.

"That way about time," says Martha.

"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Fred," she says.

"Thank you," says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women. 

So is that a pretty good description of the different ways men and women think? 
How do you guys stop over analyzing relationships? 

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend! 


You Know You're In Utah When. . .

Utah is a very interesting place. The longer I live here the more I realize this. It's kind of its own world in a way. A really quirky, interesting, somewhat messed up world. Yet I have no intention of leaving anytime soon. 

So with that said… you know you're in Utah when. . . 

there is a radio commercial urging you to "find your eternal companion" with a certain dating website

to the car next to you, your turn signal means you want to race

having 13 stick figures plastered to the back of your car is the norm

the only pro sports team you have is absolutely horrible and everybody still loves them anyways (cough Jazz cough cough) 

you use your heat seaters, heater, and AC all in one day

you pronounce 
Tooele as two-ill-uh
Hooper as huh-pur
Weber as wee-bur
Oquirrh as oh-kur

it snows during spring break

red and blue aren't just colors 

people wear shorts and flip flops as soon as it's over 40 degrees 

freshman guys in college are all 21 

the 24th of July is a bigger deal than the 4th 

you know what fry sauce is and what it's made of 

the "Holy War" is bigger than the super bowl

you know the difference between a "steak house" and a "stake house"

U and Y are not just letters 

your first child was conceived on your honey moon

schools stay open even with 2 feet of fresh snow

going on vacation means going anywhere outside of Salt Lake City

people get engaged after dating for less than 2 months 

you understand any of the things mentioned above