Thank You, Tinder

I'm sure by now you have all heard of a little app called Tinder. It's basically a newer improved version of "hot or not". Swipe right if you're interested, swipe left if you're not. It's basically all based off of looks and the other person's picture. I'm guilty of using this app, even though it immediately got deleted after it provided me with this gem of a guy. It was back in December. We started talking and I agreed to a date. He seemed normal. Key word being seemed. We had plans to go to dinner and a movie. Even though I'm not a fan of a movie on a first date I decided I had nothing to lose.

This date happened to fall on the biggest snow storm we had had all year. We're talking snowing for hours, 6 inches on the roads, you probably shouldn't go anywhere cause you'll probably die, snow storm. He picked me up and we headed to dinner. I'll be honest, it was one of those dates that was awkward from start to finish. The whole thing was pretty much doomed from the start. We got to dinner and he wasn't super talkative. He wasn't completely quiet but quiet enough that I had to continually come up with conversation topics to the point that it was anything but a naturally flowing conversation. We ordered and it wasn't less than 2 minutes later I looked over and saw my aunt, uncle, and cousins across the restaurant. I was actually relieved to see them because it gave me a slight distraction from the impending awkwardness at my table. We got our food and he barely ate any of his sandwich. We're talking he maybe took two bites and I'm sorry but if you're going to put an Applebee's oriental chicken salad in front of this girl, girl's gonna eat. He basically sat there and just stared at me while I downed my salad. Normally, I would've been super self conscious and all but at this point I had kind of already realized that this date was just not happenin'. A few minutes later our waiter came over and told us that someone had paid for our dinner. It was obviously my uncle. My date didn't say two words about it. At. All. It kind of shocked me. We were getting ready to leave and he didn't want to take his practically untouched meal home with him (I'm a big believer in doggy bags haha) and he didn't even think about leaving a tip. I mentioned something about leaving a tip and he just kinda stared at me. I wasn't about to leave without acknowledging the decent service we got so I grabbed cash out of my wallet and left it on the table. End dinner scene. 

We got in the car and I figured we would be on our way to a movie. I asked him what movie we were going to and it was then that he informed me we'd actually just be going to his house to watch a movie (he still lived at home). I was in shock and didn't know what to say because when he asked me out he specifically said we would go see a movie in theaters. He lived across the valley from me which made for a scary drive in the snow and I was sure I was going to die. Part of me was wishing we'd get in a fender bender so that this date could end right then and there. That's how incredibly uncomfortable this date was. Little did I know how much more awkward it would get in the next half hour. 

We got to his parents house and we went into the TV room. His mom and dad were cuddled up on the couch watching the old school Rudolph movie. So what did we do until their movie was over? We stood in the room awkwardly. We're talking 15 minutes of just standing there hovering over his parents. I can't even express the level of awkward at this point in the night. 

Their movie finally got over and they got up and left the room. I asked him what movie we were going to watch and he told me he was super laid back and didn't care and that I should pick. I was trying to be nice and asked his opinion on movies while trying to pick one out. They had a stack of Christmas movies sitting there and I figured this was a good way to go. I instantly snatched them up, started flipping them over, and looking for that microscopic number that told me just how much longer I'd have to be there. Yes, I was basing my decision off of how many minutes the movies were. I was trying to decide quickly and chose How The Grinch Stole Christmas, the one with Jim Carrey. He looked at me and then informed me that, "well, I don't like that movie." So, I picked another Christmas movie. He proceeded to do that to all 3 movies I picked. I finally told him to decide. You know what he picked?  The Lake House.

 I can't make this stuff up guys. We started it and I sat on the furthest end of that couch that I possibly could. He sat on the complete opposite, which I was very grateful for. But by the end of the 99 minutes of his favorite Sandra Bullock flick he was a mere inch and a half away from me. Cringe. Luckily I had my coat thrown over my lap and my hands strategically tucked under it so he couldn't even try to hold my hand. 

As soon as the movie was over I had him take me home right away blaming it on the weather. We went to head out to the car and his mom was convinced that his dad should drive us because of the weather. I'm pretty sure at this point it would have been a better (and safer) option to walk home in the blizzard. He told his dad he was fine and we headed home... basically he was a pretty scary driver and we ended up a few inches away from the bumper of the car ahead of us on more than one occasion. Apparently he thought during a huge snow storm would be the opportune time to pretend he was a driver for The Fast and the Furious. We finally made it to my house and I was beyond grateful. Little did I know that this would not be the end of him. 

You see, what I perceived to be a horrendous and cringe worthy date he perceived as a perfect one and was convinced we hit it off and there would be more. I'm a firm believer in the fact that the two C's have to be there for anything to happen. Those being Chemistry and Compatibility. Those weren't there. At. All. 

In the dating world I'm used to, if you're not interested in someone the conversations end and there's not much communication, which is a pretty obvious sign that it just wasn't there. Normally the other person gets it and that's that. But that wasn't the case here. He would not leave me alone and would not stop trying to contact me. This went on for more than a month after our date and he hadn't heard one word from me after he dropped me off. I know that is kind of harsh but I didn't respond hoping he'd get the hint and to be honest I hate confrontation. 

(These are just the ones I grabbed screen shots of... There were a LOT more) 

 I got endless phone calls. Close to one a day. They weren't just missed calls either. They were always accompanied by 3 minute long voicemails. 

He wouldn't leave me alone on Facebook. And he used my name way too much when he tried to talk to me. Don't get me wrong. I like it when a guy uses my name, it usually means they're pretty interested in you. But there is also a point where this becomes creepy and in every single message he sent?

I got daily snapchat pictures from him. 

I got daily text messages. 

I unfriended him on Facebook in hopes that it would help. I wish I were exaggerating when I say he sent me a friend request two minutes later. 

It really got me that every time he talked to me he asked about "us". There is no US!!! There never has been, is, or will be. I'm sorry.

I finally couldn't take it anymore and he just kept contacting me more and more. I finally confronted him through a conversation on Facebook and I tried to be as nice as I possibly could be while still letting him know where I stood. This is how the conversation went 

Me: You didn't do anything, it's just not there for me. 

Him: Okay. What exactly does that even mean? 

Me: I'm not interested. I'm sorry

Him: Oh

twenty minutes later 

Him: Okay

thirteen minutes later 

Him: It fine

(yes, it. Not it's)

Me: Best of luck with everything 

Him: Thanks you too

hours later 

Him: are we still friends

two hours later 

Him: Well i guess this is goodbye then

The next day 

Him: Thanks for the fun date and it was nice knowing you the short period of time

Me: I'm sorry, don't be mad. I'm just trying to be honest with you. I didn't realize you'd be so invested.

Him: I'm not attached I'm just very sad that we aren't going to be friends. 

He said a few more things but I just ended it there.   

I had been on a few Tinder dates before this but after this date you can be sure that Tinder got deleted.

Sorry this post was a mile long... I debated about splitting it up into 2 but I figured I'd just throw it all out there. 

Here's some fun facts so you can get a better picture of this guy.... 
- He told me that he had a pet dog, two baby birds, a rabbit, a squirrel, and a pet fox. (no joke) 
- When he went on an LDS mission his companion full on ran away from him just to get away because he couldn't take it anymore. It took them 24 hours to find his companion. (and yes, he told me this on the first date)
- He works with something dealing with women's underwear
- He doesn't drive on the freeway

and oh yeah 
- He wants to be a PE teacher. 

What disastrous Tinder stories do you guys have? Cause I know I'm not the only one. 


  1. Oh my gosh! What a horror story! Makes me want to share my worst date story. Maybe I will sometime in the next week or two :)
    But I never got to use Tinder . . . I was married before I knew about it. But I did think it was a genius idea when I heard about it, but now . . . not so sure!


  2. hahaha. that is awful! i had a date go juuuuust like that once. thank heavens i never have to see the kid again!

  3. That was hilarious! I had someone do that to me also... I kept thinking he was going to show up at my house unannounced! Glad he finally left you alone!

  4. OMG that is definitely one for the history books hahaha #stage5clinger lol
    Ive never used tinder, I used a dating site called datehookup I keeps it classy LOL anyway me and the one guy I talked to on there have been together over a year now.

  5. Here from Bonnie's blog. This is one of the best guest posts I've ever read. Yes, it made me want to check out your blog! This story is hilarious, and I'm soooo sorry you had to deal with this clueless awkward date!

  6. This makes me so very glad that I don't have to deal with dating....

  7. Love this post Kylie! One of the most helpful things I learned on my mission was to be direct with people and so when I came home my dating approach was way different. If I didn't feel it with a guy when he called me for a second date I would just straight up say that I didn't feel a connection and I didn't want to waste his time. Made my dating life SO much easier and less stressful. The conversation sucks, but it's so worth it to get rid of the crazies!

  8. Haha, oh gosh that's horrible! Don't blame you for throwing out Tinder... although I've never heard of it and I wasn't on hot or not either when I was single, guess I'm not cool enough to go with the technology flow...
    I'll be checking in again, really like your writing!

  9. Best message I've gotten: Hey tinderella, are you looking for a tinderfella? *gag* But I have only nice things to say about Tinder.. I'm seeing someone I met off of there, and he is 100% normal. Hhahaha.

  10. So I don't have any Tinder stories, but uncomfortable dating stories, yes. I think that is bound to happen in single's wards. All sorts of crazy happens.

  11. Stopping by from Helene's blog I just HAD to see how this ended!! haha Oh my goodness epic worst date ever!!

  12. Hahaha Oh my soul!!! I mean it's terrible but oh so funny! I hate you had to go through that!!! But just think of this as a lesson. Who NOT to date!!! haha Thanks for the post! I met my hubs through a dating site....complete opposite of your experience though. Good luck in the dating scene! It's scary out there!
    Stephanie @ Meet With a Smile

  13. Oh my gosh… I lost it on the screenshots… hilarious! But so sad!

  14. I would recommend meeting someone from online at the public place. If it was dangerous that night to drive I also think it is reasonable to cancel in that circumstance. If you had driven yourself you wouldnt have had to go to his house. Also, adding someone on Facebook who is not a friend could be dangerous.

  15. I'm sorry but I laughed SO hard at this. His poor mission comp! I don't use Tinder but I love hearing everyone's hilarious stories

  16. oh my gosh this is hilarious! thank you so much for sharing!

  17. Geez, you seem to have a high tolerance for BS ;-) I couldn't have remained as polite and friendly as you!
    H*** I'd probably make up a sudden onset of a migraine just halfway through dinner... Glad you got home safely that night!
    My worst online experience, I think it was through match.com, started off as a pretty nice day at Wild Animal Park. It was pretty nice up until the moment when he took a call on his cell phone. It was his Mom, asking how the date was going. He told her every single step we had been taking, and how nice the girl was... Obviously she told him to drop in at her place on our way home, she wanted to meet me. Gee, no, thanks.
    I got a few similar texts and voice mail messages just like you "is everything OK with us..."

    I hope you'll meet a nice guy!

  18. Oh. My. Gosh. There are no words to make any of that okay. None. I'm just seriously so SHOCKED. The grammar would have done it for me. I can't stand bad grammar like that. I mean sure everyone doesn't know where to properly put commas, but the proper use of "it's and it" is like elementary stuff!