Bachelorette: Week 3 Recap

So nothing too exciting happened during the dates this week, so let’s just bust this out. Shall we?

Nick get’s the first one on one date.  “Let’s ride off into the sunset.” When he meets up with Andi she seems to be about as excited as she would be about going to the dentist. They go bike riding, with helmets because ABC is liable. Their bike ride included biking around a park, around the beach, and of course across the grass, cause everyone does that. They stop by the ocean and the next shot we can see Andi standing there, arms crossed. Arms crossed usually isn’t a good sign. They head up to Lizard’s Mouth and of course they rode the whole way to the top of the mountain… except we can all be sure that that was just staged for a shot. I doubt they rode the whole way up.  Nick tells Andi that he has a crush on her and then they climb around the rocks for a little bit… someone should tell Andi that if she put her drink down it would probably be a lot easier.

Then we’re so pleased to get a behind the scenes clip with Bachelorette Salon Chair Confidentials brought to you by Suave. They’re not staged or awkward at all and I don’t know about you, but it definitely makes me want to run to the drug store and snatch that $.99 shampoo up.

Nick and Andi head to dinner at the courthouse. Because Andi misses her job so much and she figures why not reminisce about it at the Santa Barbara courthouse. Andi wants to know how Nick is still single. Well, he was engaged for like a minute because he thought he was a lot cooler than he was… just a friendly reminder that this is coming from the dude with the popped collar.

And alas, he gets a rose.

Back at the house Andrew says, “One thing we haven’t seen yet is someone come back from a one on one without a rose.” Gee Andrew… That couldn’t be because there’s only been 2 one on one dates could it? Or the fact that this is only the second week of actual dates?

Marcus is pissed he got a group date. He would rather have a one on one or no date at all. It’s safe to say that Marcus is definitely the most invested one thus far, which can only mean one thing… he won’t be the last one standing.

Group date – They’re going to be singing with Boys II Men. Marquel seemed to be the only one to recognize them. But then Eric did inform us that he grabbed some butt to that song back in 7^th grade so he obviously knew who they were too.

Let’s do this next part bullet point style

• Okay can someone please make a gif of josh singing opera making fun of Bradley? He reminded me of Gaston when he was doing that if we’re being totally honest. It was probably the highlight of the whole episode.
• Cody got kicked out of choir in 7^th grade
• Josh’s singing is deemed “special”
• And marcus’ voice sounds like a chicken being strangled – description courtesy of Eric
• Then we see an interview with Ron. Ron? Who is Ron? I don’t recall a Ron.
• Marquel is going to make some tea with honey and get his voice ready to go
• Andi’s singing is about as good as her dancing and snowboarding.  Add that to the list of reasons why all these guys think she’s the “total package”
• Chris Harrison introduces Boys II Men so it’s no secret that The Bachelorette will be involved somehow. Geez Chris, way to give it away.
•  Marquel says this performance is going to separate the boys from the men… oh fancy that another comparing the date to the whole bachelor experience.
• Then we have 2 minutes of them butchering the song and making America’s ears bleed. (Just ask the little girl in the audience who looked like she was in immense pain).

• Josh forgets the words and flat out admits it while he’s singing. Andrew thinks this was super cute and figures if he copies Josh, Andi will like him just as much.
• Then, naturally, Andi was so good at singing that she didn’t even end up singing her part for fear that Ryan Seacrest would try to recruit her to go to Hollywood with his show falling apart at the seams and all.

Date after party

Aw cody and Andi match. Think they planned that? And because he was channeling his inner Andi he gets the first one on one time. But really it’s just a trap to confront him about his “girlfriend” … it was pretty funny because can we please just imagine Des or Emily doing that? Ya, that’d never happen. Too much stimulation for the two of them boring folk. Oh and ABC, way to play that up! But wouldn’t it have been hilarious if he really did have a girlfriend and totally broke down and confessed? One of these seasons that will actually happen and until then, I can’t wait.

She gets her one on one time with Marcus and of course she delves on into the script that she has for when she talks to him, “You’re always in the background. On the back row. But I notice you.” Blah blah blah, you know what I’m talking about.

Here’s another thing that gets me… she really likes Josh, I don’t think that’s any secret. So during their one on one time he tried to woo her with his manly manners and didn’t offer her his jacket or that fancy little fleece piece around his neck. She obvs didn’t mind and gave him the group date rose.

Marcus sulks in his drama again saying how it wasn’t fair that he didn’t get that group date rose and how he really put himself out there. Apparently he forgot that 10 other guys also did exactly that.

JJ gets the second one on one date of the episode. #pantsapreneur

They spend half their date in makeup chairs getting all dolled up as an old couple. Andi barely looked different. It just looked like she had a bad run in with some foundation and threw a wig on. JJ on the other hand was definitely looking different. I’m sure one day we’ll see Chris Harrison looking like that because let’s face it, there is no end to this show in sight.

They walk around and ask random people to take their picture, they go play at the play ground, and play some football. Does anybody else feel like this is starting to look like an episode of Betty White’s Off Their Rockers? They even went as far as changing their voices to sound “older” but in all reality Andi just ended up sounding like Terrie Hall… you know… that lady in the smoking commercial with the hole in her throat.

Back at the house Ron leaves but his excuse and exit is weak at best. It wasn’t super believable and I’m curious to know what really happened. Andi was obviously super heartbroken and barely even mentioned it at the rose ceremony.

Back on the date JJ realizes his only chance of kissing her is just to flat out ask her. Constantly. I think this happened about 3 times, which is 3 times too many.

Just like Benjamin button they magically age backwards and head to dinner. When all is said and done, JJ gets a rose.

The next night at the cocktail party and rose ceremony was interesting. There were 2 major things that went down.

The first…. During her one on one time with Eric a huge flower arrangement walks in and she’s asked to sign for it. Because you know, production didn’t intervene at all like they did with Chris Bukowski so she had to okay it.

Eric immediately says “I wish I was responsible for these”

Does he make anyone else’s heart melt?

Andi, being the classy lady that she is, decides the best time to read the attached note novel was right there in front of Eric. That had to have been the most awkward situation for Eric. The worst part is that during their one on one time you can tell she is just not into him, which I will never understand.

The flowers are from Nick. Naturally, as soon as she reads the note, she ditches Eric and heads to find Nick to suck face with him for the next hour, even though he already had a rose.

The second major event was the fact that Andrew managed to get some girls number when the guys were out at dinner… This has to be a new one because if I recall they are usually strictly locked up in the mansion and not allowed to go anywhere. But hey, if it adds more drama, ABC is all over it. JJ and Josh feel they should take matters into their own hands and go talk to Andrew. Well Andrew wasn’t guilty at all, which was why he ran away like a little girl. Andrew still managed to get a rose and something tells me we haven’t seen or heard the last of the phone number saga.

Ron had already eliminated himself so at the rose ceremony Andi let Brett and Bradley go.

And that was that.

Also, who is Dylan!? I’m pretty sure he’s gotten zero air time and the first time I actually noticed him was at this rose ceremony.

So far I think the guys she likes the most are

-       Josh M.

-       Nick

-       Marcus

-       JJ

    

     Who do you guys think the front runners are?