When Jimmy Fallon Stopped By

My parents tend to travel a lot. Which means I'm the man woman of the house when they're gone. Which means I have ample opportunities to mess with them and their stuff.

One time it involved 118 googly eyes.

This time when they were gone, my friend had so conveniently talked me into staying up ALL night to watch the Harry Potter movies consecutively. Still don't know how I fell for that one. That was interesting. So we spent some time brainstorming about what to do while my parents were off on their own adventure. I ended up cutting out a mass amount of Jimmy Fallons as we watched the movies.

(I tried to find the creepiest Jimmy faces I could but this is what I ended up with)

The next day I went to their house and put them in every single window. When all the windows were filled up and I had left over Jimmys I started putting them around the house. 

And I didn't realize how awful these pictures were until putting them on this here blog. Sorry ya'll. 

They got home at night which was perfect because all the blinds were closed and they wouldn't even see the ones in the windows till the next day. 

The best thing about it all was the fact that my mom "counted" and thought there were more than there actually was. 

So basically, if you ever need any prank ideas, hit me up. I got your back. 

The Difference Between Men and Women

Being single means dating. Dating means lots of over thinking. Over thinking means unnecessary stress. At least this is the trend in my life. I don't know about the rest of all you single folk. Whenever a new guy comes into my life the wheels start turning and the over analyzing begins. At least thats my usual M.O. Lately my poor sister has caught the brunt of my over thinking. I seriously call her at least once a day demanding her opinion and advice on EVERYTHING. Thank heavens she is super patient! 

This basically sums up our relationship. 

I was on my way to school yesterday when she texted me a link to an article. Basically this article is dead on and has eased my mind. At least for the next 24 hours and then I'm sure I'll be back to my over analyzing ways. 

If you're anything like me, I promise you it's worth the read! 

Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Fred," Martha says aloud.

"What?" says Fred, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Fred.

"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Fred.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.

"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Fred.

"That way about time," says Martha.

"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Fred," she says.

"Thank you," says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women. 

*http://m.tickld.com/x/the-difference-between-men-and-women*

So is that a pretty good description of the different ways men and women think? 

How do you guys stop over analyzing relationships? 

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend! 

You Know You're In Utah When. . .

Utah is a very interesting place. The longer I live here the more I realize this. It's kind of its own world in a way. A really quirky, interesting, somewhat messed up world. Yet I have no intention of leaving anytime soon. 

So with that said… you know you're in Utah when. . . 

there is a radio commercial urging you to "find your eternal companion" with a certain dating website

to the car next to you, your turn signal means you want to race

having 13 stick figures plastered to the back of your car is the norm

the only pro sports team you have is absolutely horrible and everybody still loves them anyways (cough Jazz cough cough) 

you use your heat seaters, heater, and AC all in one day

you pronounce 

Tooele as two-ill-uh

Hooper as huh-pur

Weber as wee-bur

Oquirrh as oh-kur

it snows during spring break

red and blue aren't just colors 

people wear shorts and flip flops as soon as it's over 40 degrees 

freshman guys in college are all 21 

the 24th of July is a bigger deal than the 4th 

you know what fry sauce is and what it's made of 

the "Holy War" is bigger than the super bowl

you know the difference between a "steak house" and a "stake house"

U and Y are not just letters 

your first child was conceived on your honey moon

schools stay open even with 2 feet of fresh snow

going on vacation means going anywhere outside of Salt Lake City

people get engaged after dating for less than 2 months 

you understand any of the things mentioned above 

In the Name of Baby

So I'm pretty sure everyone, their dog, and their pet rock are preggers these days. Everyone. I can name a ton of people who are preggo or have had a baby in the past 3 months. It's crazy. There must be something in the water, Utah and elsewhere. But let's be honest, there is always something in the water here in Utah. My sister is amongst those that are growing a mini human currently. 

Since she lives in California the gender reveal was a little tricky. And in this day of Pinterest, DIY, and all things expected to be a big shebang, simply saying boy or girl over the phone wasn't an option. So she ordered a cute little cake and I went and picked it up. We had to cut it open to find out if she would have her 2nd boy or her 3rd girl. 

And according to the frosting… IT'S A GIRL! 

My nephew Hunter wasn't super stoked I guess. Poor kid. 

All of her kids have a middle name that starts with "M" 

Both of her girls' first names start with "M" 

Basically it's semi been decided that she wants to do another "M" name for baby or potentially an "H" name to match Hunter. I think both would be cute. 

It was only like 2AM and I figured psh… who needs sleep. Because laying in bed for the 4 previous hours obviously wasn't enough for my brain to shut down and allow me some shut eye. So I started looking at girl "H" names… or at least according to this site they were girl names. 

So if you yourself are interested in choosing a name for your little girl that starts with "H" here's what I came up with. 

Huntah … because my sister definitely needs a Hunter and a Huntah. 

Or you could just back up the "fat Americans" stereotype and just go for this… 

Because it's every kid's dream to be named after a fried mashed up potato. Maybe in Idaho. 

There's also this option if you don't want your child to be able to spell their name until the day of their high school graduation. 

And babies are always heavenly aren't they? Well why not name your child Heavenly. But the spelling h-e-a-v-e-n-l-y is too typical so you should definitely choose one of the following. Also, hyphenated names are all the rage. 

And the Harry Potter generation has officially grown up, which means that Hermione is officially in the baby name books. But if you want to make it appear like the Harry Potter series had no effect on you choosing the name… there's 50 other ways to spell it, so don't fret. 

Sticking with the Harry Potter theme, you could go this route, and name her Hedvig and sound like a Russian trying to say "Hedwig" 

Then this gem. If you like a name, just throw an "H" in the front of it or replace the beginning letter with it. 

Such as Eloise Heloise

Or Tennesse Hennesse

If you fancy naming your child after brands or company names, I would pick one of these...

Or, if you like terms that are generally associated with the mouth/neck area these are for you… 

And for all those Jimmy Fallon fans you could go with good ol' Higgins… he's Jimmy's side kick and the guy who lost his pants 

Or if you live in Washington or Colorado your kid could just be High all the time! 

Then if you're big into the saying "return with honor" you could definitely return with Honor when you come home from the hospital, In-N-Out, Target, or where ever your choice of birthing location may be. 

Or if you want to prepare her for high school cruelty, you can just call her a Ho from the get go. 

I personally like Hoda…. it's kinda like Hoda Man!?!? 

The Blake Shelton route will also be sure to bring joy to your household. 

I mean Honeybee? How cute. 

Then we can't go through this without hitting up the movie and television names. 

Hercules. Because it's only fit for a girl. And then you can forever and always think "Hercules? Honey, I think you mean Hunkules!" 

I'm sure Hugh Laurie would love a little dedication to his drug addicted doctor role. 

Huckleberry Finn. 'Nough said. 

Then to finish it off… my favorite. From one of my all time favorite movies as a kid and possibly, maybe, as an adult. 

Hortencia. From Matilda. Remember this girl? 

She's the one who told Matilda about the chokey. 

She also cheered for Bruce when he had to eat the chocolate cake. 

Yeah, I'd definitely go with Hortencia. 

Now that I think about it, Matilda starts with "M"

Happy baby naming ya'll! 

I Knew I Had The Best Dad When…

Happy Birthday to the only guy in the whole wide world who has my whole heart! I am so lucky he is my dad and I will argue till the world ends that he is the greatest dad out there! Sometimes I feel like he's not old enough to have a daughter my age let alone kids my brother and sister's age! 

I knew I had the best dad when…

• he makes "dam" jokes every time we drive by the Glen Canyon Dam
• "the dam road is closed!" 
• "what did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam!"

• he sends me emails about the drama going on with Dance Moms and the potential law suits resulting from their drama
• he took me to Chili's for dinner just because it was Daddy-Daughter night
• he teases me because I'm short. And I don't mind it. 
• he air high-fived me across the hockey arena when they scored...because we were with different groups of people and weren't sitting together
• he ran clear across the turtle farm with me just so I could hold them again even though everyone else had moved on and was looking at other stuff 

• he shares my love of Maroon Five (and Adam Levine) and Jimmy Fallon 
• he has a specific "Oh, Kylie" look he gives me every time he thinks I'm being ridiculous
• he will recite Elf quotes back and forth with me
• he will wear a pink tie just because I like it and got it for him 

• he makes me try sea food but doesn't get mad when I immediately regurgitate it back onto my plate (TMI? haha)
• his boat totally blew up  but still made it a super fun day and made me laugh

• he will go to Cafe Rio with us even though he totally hates the customer service there and the fact that they always mess up our order
• he will be rebellious with me on the Tower of Terror in Disney Land (can't give too many details about this one haha)
• he watches The Bachelor and has actual conversations about it with me and tells me how Juan Pabs should pick Renee. 
• he reads my blog recaps of The Bachelor and genuinely says he thinks they're funny 
• he brought me 2 heaters at 10:30 at night because my furnace wasn't working
• he was in the hospital for 2 weeks and still had his awesome sense of humor

• he lets me ramble on about random hockey facts and listens even though it's really not important
• he wears Utah Utes gear to support me even though I know deep down inside he's a BYU fan
• he lets me play my music on the boat even though it's not his favorite 
• he loves me no matter how many mistakes and dumb decisions I make and always stands by my side

Happy Birthday Dad!!! 

I love you!!!