3.17.2013

My Thoughts on Flying

 Unfortunately, spring break has come and gone. I came home yesterday. Ever wonder what goes on inside my head? Yeah, me neither. I'm crazy and I'm aware of it. But if you do... here's my saga of coming home, first hand from Kylie's internal thoughts. I tend to talk to myself far more when I'm by myself. 


"I'm going to be really early. Oh, well."

"Why are there so many wild turkeys around here?"

"Crap, I have to take a tram to my gate. I'm going to get lost." 

"Don't cry Hunter, don't cry. Crap, now I'm gonna cry. Here come the waterworks."

"Yah! There's no one in the security line. This is going to be so fast!"

"No, you may not feel around my bra you nosey perv."

"Oh, you're going to test my hands for bomb residue? The only thing you'll find is the remnants of my cheeseburger and smeared eyeliner." 

"Yes, because the 20 year old blonde white girl in jeans, sandals, and peach blouse, is definitely a threat to this here establishment." 

" Oh gosh, that guy is weird. I need to leave this store right now."

"Why is Michelle Obamas wardrobe being discussed on the afternoon news? Seriously? Is this what our country has become?" 

"I need to get a drink but I don't want to go back to that store." 

"Oh gosh, he's still here. Please don't make small talk, please don't make....dang it." 

"No, my planes not late. I just decided I could use a drink." 

"Thanks, I will have a happy St. . . . Wait, who wishes people a happy St. Patricks day? And a day in advance?"

"Ooo he's cute. Wait, he's watching something. What's he watching? Rocket Power!?!?! 90's kid! He's automatically cool."

"You line up by number lady. Not that complicated. 19 comes before 20 and after 18." 

"This is the best flight attendant ever!" 

"I hope they don't lose my luggage. Last time I flew they lost my luggage." 

"Seriously, I have to get off? and just to get back on the same plane?" 

"Wait, that means she was looking at my notebook." 

"No, I'm not an "artist" this, my friend, is my doodling." 

"I'm kind of flattered"

"Can we leave yet? I just want to go home and go to bed." 

"Dear Sir, don't roll your eyes. You picked your profession." 

"Why is there a police car on the tarmac? The TSA probably called them to come find me." 

"Seriously dude, I'm getting out my headphones and you choose now to start small talk?" 

"Oh, you're actually pretty cool. Okay, yeah, let's talk." 

"haha you love your iPhone like a little kid loves candy. Your daughter blocked you on Twitter? That's so funny and so so sad." 

"People, you don't have to stand on the luggage claim, geez. Move out of my way. I'm gonna wack you when I get my bag off." 

"Yah! Mom and dad!" 

"Holy cow, my mom did SO much for me while I was gone." 

"I feel guilty. I need to repay her somehow." 

"I hope there's a parking spot for me." 

"Ah, my bed!" 

1 comment:

  1. This was hilarious! It sounds like you have several stories for me. And two things, 1. You own the new JT cd and 2. You never added the glee clip. That's all.

    ReplyDelete