The Bachelor: Poor Unfortunate Seouls

Let's start with some quick words about Sean and Catherine's wedding. You bet your bottom dollar I watched it and to be honest I watched it expecting to cry. They are the one and only couple that I can truly say I absolutely love everything about. They are so goofy together and I abso-freaking-lutely adore it. I want a love like that.

They are the first "Bachelor" couple to ever be married. The other two came from "The Bachelorette" and then there's Jason and Molly. You can say they're a Bachelor success but I will fight you till the cows come home that these two are not an "official" Bachelor/Bachelorette couple. He freaking picked Melissa. Not Molly. Melissa.  Jason just lucked out with the fact that after Melissa realized she was too good for that sort of thing, Molly was okay with being sloppy seconds.

Sean and Catherine…. The whole thing was a little bit boring but I watched it and I thought it was fun to see the prep. I thought the actual ceremony turned out GORGEOUS but then again how could it not when you have the top people working on it and you don't have to drop a dime. I was bummed we didn't get to see the wedding cake though. But I'm very happy they're married and I loved Catherine's vows. I didn't cry through the whole thing…. and then at the end when they are walking out and Sean is crying… yup, I lost it.

I also can't figure out how in the world ABC let them pick that day and time knowing that it would air opposite of the Grammy's. But hey…. we have DVR so all is well in the world.


They didn't announce that they were going to start traveling at the rose ceremony like they normally do. It was probably because Chris Harrison needed to show America he still has his job. So he shows up at the beginning and tells them they're going to Korea. Now, if any of you know me and if I were on the show, the second I heard that we were going to Korea I would've packed up my bags and walked out the door. No way in hell you will find me in Korea. Ever. They have one hour to pack and of course all the girls are screaming… because they had no idea they would be traveling. And then they're all "my future husband is waiting for me around the world!" Riiiiiiight.

They get to Korea and the first group date card reads "Pop" I'm pretty sure nobody knows what K-pop is and I'm pretty sure the fact that they are all talking about it like they've always known just goes to show how staged and forced this "reality" show is.

Nikki made it very clear from the very beginning of this date that she was just so happy to be on the date and that she just could not wait to spend time with Juan Pabs and deepen her friendship with all of the girls. This is a reoccurring theme for Nikki throughout the whole day.

The girls and Juan Pabs are just so stoked because they're going to be dancing with 21!!!!!!!! OH. MY. GOSH. I can't believe it!!!!! 21!!!!!!! As in like Forever 21??? Because heck yeah, I could dance through that store all day. But wait, they mean 21. You know? 21. Yeah, me either. But don't you fret because Elise, Nikki, Cassandra, Danielle, Chelsie, and Kat just happen to be huge fans! They are SO lucky that worked out.

They start practicing and take turns showing off their dance moves. Juan Pablo… I don't even know what to say. He. Can't. Dance. He looked like an uncoordinated teenage boy trying out for America's Next Top Model. Just shield our eyes. Please! Kat can actually dance. Like she's really good. Then Nikki… that was just hilarious. Those dancing skills just landed her the job of the Chick-fil-a cow on the corner! I'm pretty sure if she would've just shut up about not liking to dance and played along, no one would've even realized how bad she was. I can't recall Cassandra, or Chelsie, or Elise's dance moves. Can you?

Something tells me Nikki's true colors are coming out.
"My outside face looks like this…. my inside face looks like this"
"This is my worst nightmare"
"I hope we're performing for the South Korean school of the blind"
She's starting to remind me a lot of Courtney from Ben's season….. Winning!

The after party was basically more drama revolving around, yup, you guessed it, Nikki. She doesn't like the fact that she has to share his attention. We've never heard that uttered in the past 26 seasons of this show. Kat is talking to Juan Pablo and the whole "what's your biggest fear" topic comes up yet again… this is the THIRD time this has happened and I'm sure this has happened before on other seasons but was there really nothing else that ABC could show us? They had to show this exact conversation three weeks in a row? I think the crew is losing brain cells just by being around Juan Pablo. Show us something else. Kat comes back and did anyone else see Nikki blatantly look at her watch as she walked in? I can't even blame bad editing on this Nikki drama because every single girl on that date said something about how bratty Nikki was being.

Nikki goes and has her Juan on Juan time. It's all about how this is so hard for her and how she's just in a really tough spot and boo hoo hoo. Somebody call the waaaaaaambulance. Juan Pablo then asks her how she feels about Cameeeeeeela…. Her response? "I'm a great diaper changer." Umm honey, Cameeeeela is 4! I pray to the diaper genie gods that she is potty trained by now!

Back at the house Sharleen gets the one on one date card, which only means one thing. My digerno pizza that was cookin' in the oven was gonna have to wait. Unless of course I wanted to taste it twice while watching Sharleen and Juan Pablo make out. Vomit.

Nikki "I really want the rose. Not because I was the best dancer, but because I was me."
The girls' response to Nikki getting the rose, "It wasn't fun" "It sucked" "Yuck."
(That's 2 group date roses in a row for Nikki, in case you were wondering)

Sharleen's date. I don't have a whole lot to say. I really think she will end up eliminating herself at some point because you can clearly see she just isn't into this whole Bachelor thing and she isn't into Juan Pablo. Apparently ABC has yet to brain wash her into fully thinking this. I kind of enjoy watching her because you can just tell she thinks this whole thing is ridiculous. The girls talk about her back at the house and say how Sharleen thinks her conversations with Juan Pablo are dull and boring. See, she's obviously not digging him.

During dinner they have some riveting conversation. Let's just say Master's Degree vs degree in …. uh soccer? Whaaaaaaatttta match! I do like that she calls him on his crap and that she just flat out calls him a smart ass and a brat. She's so kind and caring though and proceeds to define what bland is to Juan Pablo. Later the kids conversation comes up and she claims that she's never thought about it but really that's just code for "I don't want kids and I'm only here to watch Nikki and Clare duke it out." Juan Pablo says that they have lots in common and gives her the rose. A) I'm shocked he gave her the rose after the kids conversation and B) I'm shocked she Ah-septed it. I'm quite curious as to how long this little shenanigan is going to go on for.

The second group date card comes "Let's get Krazy in Korea!"

They're off but Clare can't read Korean so she has no idea what they're doing.
Na na na na na na…. There. I just summed up the group date for you.
Karaoke. Because hey, if karaoke isn't bad enough in english, it's bound to improve in Korean.

After karaoke they head to some swan boats. So I have to ask you guys… what's better? Swan boats? or the tug boat from Des' season? Yeah, I would've chosen to drown too.

They went and got fish pedicures and if we're being honest this looks SO weird but I would never turn down the option to try it. Too bad it's illegal in the U.S. But it still won't get me to go to Korea. No way, no how.

One of the girls says that "Clare is a little territorial" Well hello!!!! Were you not at the last rose ceremony? or were you too smashed to remember her little hide and go seek in the bathroom act? Regardless, she is always by his side and the fact that she got up and went to sit by him during the pedicures and said "It's warmer over here" Yeah, not obvious at all.

Clare and Nikki really bugged me this episode. Can we just get rid of them both? If they are the final 2, I swear I will slit my wrists. But let's see… Vienna won…. Courtney won…. is this a sign?

Juan Pablo says this date was fun and a little cray sea. The after party was just all sorts of sorority house ridiculous. I could go into detail but basically here's what happened… everyone wanted to kiss him but he wasn't going to kiss anybody because he has a daughter. But that didn't stop him from sucking face before so why now?

Andi did call him out on being a bad dancer though! His response? "ex hues me?" Best. Ever.

Then Clare has her one on one time. Earlier in the day she decided she needed even more attention and made a big deal about eating some octopus. She tells Juan Pablo that she threw up in her mouth but then swallowed it back down. She was trying to hide it. So naturally, the best way to hide it would be to tell everyone. Then whataya know. He starts mackin down with Clare. The secrets out. If you want Juan Pablo to kiss you, tell him you threw up earlier. Seals. The. Deal.

After all that, Clare didn't even get the rose and I'm pretty sure you could see the steam coming out of her ears when he gave that rose to Andi.

When all was said and done this episode it was Elise and Lauren that got sent home. Elise was okay with it though because her mom "didn't want her around ugly people" anyways. Those tears were tears of excitement to be going home. Really.

The promos for next week look kind of interesting. The way ABC played it off makes it look like Clare spends the night with Juan Pabs. Hmm maybe we'll end up with a Bachelor Baby this season! That would be a first.

Too bad we know that it will be nothing and that it's all just editing and hype. At least I'm hoping we all can realize that by now.

I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed the ending credits. It was actually really funny to watch him and I'll be honest, that was the first time I have even thought he was remotely attractive. That's probably because he was goofing off in an attractive way and I haven't really been paying attention to his looks much… just the drama. I looked all over for the video but came up empty handed. If I ever find it I'll post it.

1 comment:

  1. If I ever end up on The Bachelor, I would be the one to be all "Ehhh Asia? No thanks" and "What is K-pop?"