The Bachelor: Final 3

The final 3. Am I the only one who is glad this season is almost over? This show drives me nuts anymore but yet I can't seem to quit watching. In short it's predictable, dramatic, polygamist dating. This season might be my last. Psh...who are we kidding. As long as Chris Harrison is alive I'm sucked in. Oh man my friends, I need to get me some Bachelor rehab. 

So the first date went to Lindsay. They take a ride on a wanna be golf cart with some dude driving the scooter a mere 10 inches away. Whoa! Ro man tic! They go to an outdoor market. Lindsay made the mistake of telling producers that she would try anything but eat bugs. So obviously Sean and the producers thought they'd be hilarious and throw this her way. As we learned earlier from Selma if you don't participate you basically have your name engraved on a shiny gold plate in front of that seat in the limo. She sucked it up and ate bugs. Then they headed to the beach where they got to feed monkeys. Not going to lie this may have been one of the cooler happenings on the more recent seasons of the Bachelor. 

EVERY TIME HE ASKED HIMSELF TODAY IF HE COULD SEE HIMSELF MARRYING LINDSAY THE ANSWER WAS YES. 

The next date went to AshLee. Oh, kill me now. This girl... she just... oh man.. heaven help her. They went to a private beach in which they had to swim through a cave to get to. Cue the metaphors. "It's like real life, I have to let go." "You have to trust" "You have to be vulnerable" yada yada yada. I'm pretty sure her vocabulary consists of: abandoned, trust, abandoned, vulnerable, abandoned, risk, abandoned.
 As you could all see the cave was SUPER scary. I mean with lights, flotation devices, and a guaranteed crew standing by, and other people in the cave. We're talking life threatening here people! She's obviously never been on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. Anyways they finally find their way out and Sean feels like he should through a metaphor out there since he is on a date with AshLee. "We found the light at the end of the tunnel" And you can also see the end of your relationship with AshLee. Congrats bro. The beach was legit. I don't think there's anyone that wouldn't want to go there...oh wait... except AshLee. On to dinner. They talk about how they're both single and why. AshLee says she doesn't "take getting engaged lightly" WAIT! wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Isn't this the girl who got married at the ripe ol' age of 17!?!?!? 

OH AND EVERY TIME HE ASKED HIMSELF TODAY IF HE COULD SEE HIMSELF SPENDING HIS LIFE WITH ASHLEE THE ANSWER WAS YES. 

Last but not least was Catherine. They had an old boat to go exploring the island in and quite frankly it reminded me of the boat from The Princess Bride. Too bad we didn't have Inigo Montoya on that boat. That would have spiced stuff up! Sean sees Catherine as his best friend. Shocker. He said that about the other too as well. Later they jump off the boat and did you catch that Catherine did a flip!? That was freaken awesome! None of this holding hands while jumping crap. Then it started raining. It's always the worst weather on Catherine's dates. Maybe it's a bad omen of their future relationship. Her names for him honestly crack me up. Mega-hunk. Beefy-hunk. I find it entertaining. 

oh and you guessed it! 

EVERY TIME HE ASKED HIMSELF ABOUT CATHERINE BEING HIS WIFE HE COULD TOTALLY SEE IT. 

Onto the rose ceremony. If you didn't know who was going home by this point you must have been REALLY Bachelor drunk. Which let's face it, if you play the bachelor drinking game you're wasted within 10 minutes. 

Lindsay had the first video message. Sean's smile was huge. Obviously she's not going home. 

Next was Catherine. He still has a smile on his face. 

AshLee. What an emotional mess. She has so much baggage. If she were flying Delta she'd have to pay 1,000 dollars extra just to get it all on the plane. Did you see Sean's face? It was obvious she's the one hitting the road. 

Low and behold it was AshLee who got sent home. She was a beast when it came to leaving. If looks could kill, this Bachelor season would've ended early. 

I personally want him to pick Catherine. Yes, I am very aware the rest of the world wants him to pick Lindsay but in my eyes she's too immature. She showed up in a flippin wedding dress for Pete's sake. I haven't liked her since day one. I feel like Catherine is a little more mature and she seems the most real to me. AshLee and Lindsay both have severe cases of "the boyfriend voice" Lindsay talks like a baby most of the time and I just can't take that coming from a grown woman. Anywho... 

Tune in next week when Chris Harrison hosts the Jerry Springer show whoops I mean The Women Tell All.